Newly diagnosed mum of 2 young kids

Hi Rogal, I’m sorry but please don’t despair. I’m older than yo, ER positive and her 2 positive and had chemo first then surgery followed by radiotherapy. That was my personal treatment. Yours will be different, but please , you will get through it. 
I have hormone therapy now for 5-10 years. 
Other people will come along here and give you plenty reassurance. Just come on anytime and ask anything you want, someone will help you xx

I felt like that at first except it was my grandchildren. I had a wide local incision (lumpectomy) and have started drug therapy that stops oestrogen from causing the cancer to grow. It had affected my lymph glands so I’ve had them removed and will be having radiotherapy soon. 
Have you been assigned a breast care nurse?  They are a really good resource. Ask if you have been Oncotype tested. Not all areas offer this but I found that it wasn’t necessary to have chemo. 
breast cancer now have a someone like me scheme where they can put you in touch with someone in you position. 
big hugs

Rachel

Thanks for replying - it’s my kids. They need me and I need them so I will do whatever it takes. They are talking about surgery after Xmas (that will be 6 weeks) and all I keep thinking is it’s going to grow and spread. I will keep checking in here. Your words offer me strength and comfort. Xx

Thank you both so much ️

No problem. Waiting is the worst part of treatment. Shout out if you need to x

Hi Rogal,

Firstly, I am so sorry about your diagnosis that has landed u in our club. We all understand and totally get your fears, worries and anxiety. As a single mum I am like you too, have to keep fighting and live on for our children. BC is so treatable, rely on your medical team and medical science! Treatment /op are so improved now.

Luckily it's caught early. Do your kids know? Try to get as much support from family and friends. It's important to also keep to the facts...don't let your head go to the dark place. I find that hardest to fight off, what's in my head, so try distraction methods or breathing exercises. 

The lovely ladies here will give you such support...just keep talking and moving forward. Sending u healing vibes

Cx 

Of course… you will be thinking of your kids . You will do everything you can for your kids, same as your medical team will do for you so that you can carry on for them. I felt the same waiting for surgery but my breast nurse told me there was no urgency for surgery untill everything before had been completed. They have to do tests etc and plan your surgery so that you have the best results xx

Thank you all for reaching out and sharing your experiences. So comforting to hear from real women in similar positions.

No I don’t think I will tell my 5 year old. He’s a deep thinker and very sensitive. I ll tell him I have to have an operation and go for medicine at the hospital but I don’t want any him even knowing what cancer is. I think he will accept that ok x

You are reacting like all of us. It’s scary but of course you think of leaving them - but that doesn’t have to be the outcome - as people say all over this forum breast cancer is treatable. 

my first thought was ‘they only have one parent they can’t lose me’  and over the following days I walked myself back to “im Going to take every step to make sure I’m around for them”

 but don’t beat yourself up for thoughts  I did find that saying my worst fears out loud - usually to my sister - I say to my so  “if we speak it we can defeat it” because of his anxiety so it’s kind of the same principle. So find someone you can say the scary stuff to 

i was so nervous about telling my kids about my mastectomy. But actually they thought it was so funny because it was about boobs (at 10 & 11 boobs are just plain funny) - that they didn’t see it as worrying at all.  

ask for help is my other tip. Even if help is’I could really do with a m cuppa and a chat’. Or. ‘ I need an hour or two  by myself’

tae Care x

I know how fragile an age they're at, but I find when they're little you can role play easily with them, to make them understand you will be back even when you've gone to hospital for op. I remember I used that a lot when my little one did potty training and not wanting to go in his own room to sleep etc

I think plenty of assurances will make sure they aren't left thinking/wondering. You know your kids the best, it's so hard to just leave to go concentrate on yourself....mums always struggle on this. Afterwards do remind them they mustn't land on your wound though as all they probably want is just massive cuddles! I still hug my 14 year old, he says to me 'it's not cool mother' lol but secretly he loves it...my time is precious with him, it won't be long before he only cuddles his gf or wife, so I will while he is still MINE

Cx