Diagnosis received yesterday...

Hello. Getting this diagnosis can do that, yeah. You don't have to ask any questions until you are ready to do so. You are very welcome to keep talking here, tell us about the diagnosis and the treatment plan if you feel like it, and there is excellent support at Maggie's and Macmillan if you prefer, both on the phone and in a lot of areas face to face too. 

Thank you for replying Greycats, I really appreciate it. 

I have grade 1 breast cancer in several places so need a mastectomy. The operation has been scheduled for 22 December. I have been asked if I want breast reconstruction at the same time, which I think I do. It was found during a health check where I was persuaded to have a mammogram in mid November.

Everything is whizzing around in my head, I have 2 children who I need to tell, but don't know how without worrying them.

Hi , lovely message already from GreyCats, just wanted to add another warm welcome to the forum. In terms of telling your children, will partly depend on their ages of course but I found sticking to the facts was my way forward with that. Mine were 22 and 24 at the time. I tended to put a positive spin on it as that felt more comfortable than spelling out the grimmest possibilities. From what you’ve said it sounds like you have the least aggressive grade, and they’re confident that they can remove all the cancer and do immediate reconstruction. That’s all positive in the bigger scheme of things. I tended to say things like ‘I’ve got cancer but it’s early stage, not the most aggressive (mine was grade 2), and very treatable.’ I’m not sure you can completely stop your children from worrying but I felt mine were reassured by the fact that I approached it in the spirit of ‘it’s a lot better than it might have been’ rather than worst possible situation. If yours are still at school then I’d also contact the school so that they are aware and can support as necessary. 
Good luck with it all, we’re all here for you and will support you along the way. Love and a big virtual hug, HFxx

How old are the children, single digit, teens, older? There is a good chance they will worry no matter what you say because of the associations of the word, "cancer," but explaining that Grade 1 is the slowest, neareast to normal cells kind of cancer may help put their mind at ease. 

Overcoming the fear, or at least lessening it, is not the same for everyone. Some people here say that more information specific to their situation helps, some say that finding a distraction (watching films, going for a walk) helps them relax. Some here have said that for them it was just having the time to digest it all. 

Thank you Happyfeet1 and Greycats for your kind words. My children are 12 (twins) but I think you're right about sharing the positive facts with them, and letting the school know as well. I guess it will have an impact on them over Christmas and when they return to school in January.

I am using distractions to get through the day and become very tearful when I'm alone.

I think it’s important to model to children how we cope with scary news, and be honest but positive with them. Keeping secrets is rarely a good idea - kids can sniff out something is going on, and if no one is admitting that, it’s just scary. If you’re anything like me you’ll be getting endless letters from the hospital and endless appointments and it’ll be clear something is up. What you can say is that you have breast cancer, but they’ve caught it early. You’ll need an operation and possibly other treatments but it’s really common and the vast majority of people will be fine. 

I have found the Macmillan and Breast Cancer UK helplines invaluable. I’ve also been visiting a Maggie’s centre for support, and cake.

As for reconstruction, there are different options so feel free to ask questions on this forum. I’ve just had a mastectomy with reconstruction with expandable implant and everyone is really impressed by the results. My friend had the DIEP procedure and she’s also happy. So horses for courses.

Cry when and if you need to, but you are not alone. You’ll get through this.

As your name suggests Keep Smiling...that itself tells me you're such a positive person! It's so much to get your head around and us here knows it's such a surreal time to get diagnosed with BC. If you have any questions, ask away...the girls here are so supportive and lovely!

You know your kids best and so you will know what to say when time comes. Depends on their ages too, just be ready for open dialogue and be honest but avoid TMi

Mine is a teenager and just went straight to Google "life expectancy for cancer" ...but I said to him that Google stats aren't accurate. And I will give my best shot to get better with the op/treatment offered. I said I will need his help with various and while I recover I may not be able to do the things I normally do for him. 

I am now recovering from mastectomy. Reach out any time.

C x

So I've managed to keep it together and told my children who were scared, upset and amazingly calm and clear on what was going to happen. They helped me to talk about.  I had surgery on 22 December and came home yesterday. Feeling ok and glad to be home, but still need to get through the emotional side of this and I think that's going to be difficult.

How are others feeling after mastectomy and reconstruction? I'm still scared x

Hi,

I also received my diagnosis yesterday. Nice Xmas present eh?! I felt numb too. I thought it was just an old injury showing on mammogram. Invasive ductal breast cancer grade 3. Will find out type of receptor January 6th. Opted for mastectomy January 18th. Never had surgery before except biopsies. Scarey time. Been advised take one day at a time. Determined to enjoy Xmas as much as possible.

Hi Keepsmiling07, I had a mastectomy with implant reconstruction on 20 Dec and came home on the 22nd. I'm very glad to be home too, but keep having moments of feeling overwhelmed by everything. I guess it all just happens so fast. You feel desperate to have the cancer removed as quickly as possible, and then it's hopefully gone, along with your breast as you knew it, and it's all very emotional. I am sore, bruised and tired. Relieved the op is over, but definitely still worried about what's to come. I'm sure it's all normal. We just need to try and focus on healing for now I think. Best wishes to you xx