Newly diagnosed.

Hi Laylasmum  so sorry to meet you here but glad you have found us.  It is normal to find this terrifying, but if you look at all the posts here you will see that the first bit after your initial diagnosis, when you have so little information about your treatment pathway, is the very worst and most difficult time.

I've found the following quote really helpful, I wrote it down and kept looking back at it when in my darker moments thinking of all possible futures "You don't need to predict how everything will play out, just master the next step and continue moving in the right direction."

I promise it will get easier when you have more information and there are lots of people here who are willing to answer questions and genuinely empathise with what you are going through. Use us! 

Hi Laylasmum

Just to reassure you , yours is the usual reaction , I felt my life became a parallel one to my cancer journey. Firstly , although it may not feel like it , once you have got over the initial shock and have your results in you will feel much calmer and in control. Telling people I loved was the pits , and you will feel that people will expect you to know answers when you don’t. There are so many different breast cancers and treatments , it felt like having to learn a new language.

My advice  ? Read posts etc on this site , but bear in mind that everyone is different and so what one person will have , treatment wise , may not be appropriate for you etc. Be kind to yourself and become selfish , it is really important that you put yourself first (as women we aren’t very good at that)

Breastcancernow also has lots of downloadable booklets that you might find helpful.

Overall bear in mind that breast cancer has some fantastic treatments and a great recovery rate ,  it may take a while to get your plan in place, and some of the treatments not on  anyone’s bucket list, but are doable, and your your team will be working hard to formulate the best possible plan for you

Very best wishes

Jo x

Hi Laylasmum

I'm so sorry that you are here - it is truly overwhelming. There is so much information that is given to you - it is totally understandable you and your husband feel this way. 

I also had to wait after I was diagnosed to determine which treatment i would receive. Mine took a couple of weeks to come back and this was honestly so hard. Hopefully yours will come back sooner. Once these came back, they were able to tell me the treatment plan. Be very kind to yourself during this time and moving forward. I am finding that i am really leaning on my husband and luckily we have been given the details of a therapist for him also.

One thing that helped me when i had a wobble day yesterday was to walk my dog and concentrate on just putting one foot in front of the other and telling myself these thoughts that are coming into my head are imagined thoughts. No one has told me this - for now this is just a scenario that i am imagining. And then I tried to bat the thought away.

i found taking in a notebook to my appointments helped - you can also use this to note down all the questions you want to ask but may forget in the moment.

Let us know how you are and how you are getting on. There is so much support on this forum xx

Sorry you’ve been diagnosed, we all now how youre feeling right now. It is so terrifying at the beginning when you really don’t know much apart from the fact you have cancer and still in the dark about how your team of experts intend to treat and beat this for you.   
I think when you get your treatment plan you’ll start to feel a little better and then surgery, for me, was a huge mental boost.  Medicine has come such a long way and breast cancer is so much more treatable these days.  If you have any queries you’ll get lots of advice and support here and you can also ring Macmillan helpline for advice or just someone to talk to x