Hello, I'm So Confused

They say that if you don't have anything nice to say better shut up, so I will skip the part where I was going to offer an opinion about that consultant but I will say this: a complaint should be made about the negligent and casual offer of an option that wasn't really there. Doctors who are oblivious to the impact of such things on patients' overall well-being sometimes needs the message slapped home.

Logic and the NHS are sometimes mutually exclusive terms. I have learned this through long and bitter experience both as a patient and as an employee. I am fortunate in that there were enough good people along the way to get me to where I am now, but there are also enough of the other kind to make all of our lives that much harder.

The options as I see them now are:

1.   Find out what it would take, financially, to have the full operation you want, with the NHS paying for whatever they would and you paying the rest.

2.   Check again. The scoliosis may place you in a unique position where the NHS may still pay for the whole thing, in the same way they sometimes pay for cosmetic surgery if the patient falls within certain categories. The GP may be of more help on this than the oncology team.

3.   If option 2 is still turns out a negative, re-think the actually available options and make a decision based on what is actually available, but demand that this time you get full reassurance that what they say is available, really is.

On the subject of asymmetry, and this is a little off-topic, I have recently come across a manufacturer who makes single-boob bras. A cup for the remaining breast, a flat band for the other side. I am not getting anything from there yet, but I have bookmarked them, I just might.

Thank you Greycats, I am hopefully going to be able to speak to my GP about getting sleeping tablets as having to come off HRT and getting the hot flushes every few minutes is in itself debilitating. I will ask her about my options too. Thank you for taking the time to reply.

A similar thing happened to me in 2015.  Said because I was a G cup I could have WLE in affected breast and reduction in unaffected breast as wise I'd be lopsided. Spent a week debating and coming to decision.  My decision was not to touch unaffected breast and when I saw surgeon she said before I could speak bilateral reduction off the table as at MDT meeting they felt I could have a good cosmetic result with just the affected breast operated on.  It seems they might be pulled into line at these meetings about what they can offer !  As it happens I just have small dent in top of left breast and generally they look the same size unless I wear certain types of clothes but I take get someone to take a picture for me to review if it's important outfit like when I was mother of bride shopping.  I loved a silver outfit where the dress clung on breasts and skimmed my hips with a lovely light jacket but photos showed even with jacket on I could see difference in size.  Only when I pointed out to others did they notice.  

Anyway back to you.  Maybe  immediate reconstruction will give you the symmetry you want even if only on affected side.  I would push to ensure you get immediate reconstruction or implant as I know sometimes they offer at later date so you can have months/years lopsided.  Your BC nurse should be your advocate so speak to her about your concerns .  Good luck 

Hi Carol, thank you for your advice. I have left a message with BC nurse,just waitng to hear back.

Reconstruction in other situations | BAPRAS This is quite interesting. I think what he is getting at is that you don't have cancer in one breast, so they can't get funding to do anything with it. But his advice was wrong in the first instance. 

Thank you, that's interesting.

From a psychological point of view though, it is very important, confidence wise, for women with cancer to look right and look symmetrical, as well as getting rid of the cancer. I know for a fact that from a clinical point of view the Breast Cancer Nurses were not bothered about the fact that I couldn't get my arm raised over my head for Radiotherapy, but from my point of view the pain was bad every day and I was very fed up with the pain not going away. They questionned whether I had been able to do this before the op. I was very fit before the op. The fact that I was unable to get my clothes off seemed not to bother them. It certainly bothered me greatly. I had to fight for Physio which took all of 45 mins to achieve the right result and some exercises from me. It really is what seems right to you that is the most important thing, so if you have to, press for what you want.

From a psychological point of view though, it is very important, confidence wise, for women with cancer to look right and look symmetrical, as well as getting rid of the cancer. I know for a fact that from a clinical point of view the Breast Cancer Nurses were not bothered about the fact that I couldn't get my arm raised over my head for Radiotherapy, but from my point of view the pain was bad every day and I was very fed up with the pain not going away. They questionned whether I had been able to do this before the op. I was very fit before the op. The fact that I was unable to get my clothes off seemed not to bother them. It certainly bothered me greatly. I had to fight for Physio which took all of 45 mins to achieve the right result and some exercises from me. It really is what seems right to you that is the most important thing, so if you have to, press for what you want. I looked at photos of women who chose to go flat and for me too it seemed a truly barbaric and inhumane action, and not my top choice (although I would have chosen it if no other option to remove cancer) . I had cancer in both breasts but was shocked and angry when told mastectomy in one was necessary but it was.

Hi it gets worse, I told them I was getting a private consultation with a different surgeon and they said that he said that  is the lead clinician on the MDT and would not be able to see me as his opinion would be the same. So we cancelled the private appointment. Then the private hospital phoned and that he would be only too happy to see what he could do for me . Honestly! You couldn't make it up.

Don't these people understand the stress you and others in your position are under ? They seem to forget to treat patients as they would want their family treated.   I asked for annual mammogram after being signed off last November and recalled and my first 3 yearly one last month.  They said no so I asked can I go private and doctor said private screening not as good !