My wife has breast cancer and I don’t know what to expect

Hello xerxes,

I'm sorry you find yourself with us here,  this is the group no-one wants to join. Lots of ladies on here have triple negitive cancer who I'm sure will be along later in the day to give help and advice. 

Some people are sick after chemotherapy but medication to stop this is very good now. Most people seem to be very tired from about the 3 day after chemo for a couple of days .

You must stay positive as treatment for breast cancer today is very good and if she has already had the surgery she is already half way through this journey . As far as looking after her give support ,when it's needed , but don't hold her back on good days when she wants to get out and about.  It's very easy to fall into being a professional patient and that's something that doesn't help us.    

Take care 

Jayne X 

Hi Xerxes

First, it’s great that you’re already being so supportive by asking these questions!  There are different chemo regimes and drugs so hopefully your wife will have been told which drugs she’ll be on, and given a list of possible side effects. If you look online, Breast Cancer Now also has good info on each drug in their section on going through breast cancer treatment.

Lots of side effects are listed, but your wife won’t get all of them, and lots of women get hardly any of them and feel broadly fine throughout.  Also most of the side effects can be managed.  I suffered from terrible vomiting and nausea for 4 days immediately after my first chemo session, but I told the nurse and oncologist and they gave me different anti-sickness drugs for the second session which made a massive difference.  Now my main issue is fatigue for the first few days, and in week two a bit of joint pain or mild headache which are manageable with paracetamol. By the time my next chemo session comes around I feel physically great.

Sometimes it’s not the chemo that’s the issue but the additional medication eg. your wife will be given anti-sickness meds with her chemo, and they slow down the digestive system.  So it’s worth having something on hand for constipation (eg. senokot) and indigestion meds, plus paracetamol as mentioned above.  Some regimes also cause some women to get diarrhoea so maybe have a pack of immodium handy.  Maybe buy some plain crackers because they’re good for nibbling on when nauseous.  

Otherwise I’d say play it by ear and try to respond to her needs, eg. Be ready to pop to the supermarket if the ONLY thing she can face eating is peanut butter, or cheese, or whatever she has a yearning for.  Offer drinks/food/help when she’s fatigued - sometimes I found it difficult just to get off the sofa!  Encourage her to get outside for a walk, even a short one, as soon as she can - it's good for physical and mental health and helps cope with the effects of chemo.  Encourage her to mention any side effects to her team because they may well be able to prescribe something to alleviate them.  And tell her she still looks gorgeous if her hair starts to fall out!!  Best wishes to you both x

Some really good advice here already. I’ve found I didn’t have any extreme reaction to the Chemo, I’m on EC-T, but I do have lots of minor things which are accumulative in dragging me down. I find that omeprazole helps to control the acid which makes me feel less nauseous, I take lactulose as a maintenance dose everyday as I suffer from constipation. I seem to fluctuate between not sleeping well, because of the steroids, to sleeping often. I find that I ache badly due to the injections they give you to boost your immune system, they’re eased by paracetamol and ibuprofen and a gentle walk. Getting fresh air helps even if you don’t always feel like it. Sometimes I’ve felt very weepy and angry with nowhere to direct it and other days I feel lucky I’m not in a worse situation so be prepared for her emotions to be a bit all over the place and try not to take it personally. Lots of that is down to the meds, when the steroids dump you they can dump you hard. Her taste may be affected so she may not like food she normally does, I’ve found that worse on a drug called docetaxel, it’s made me feel quite sad not to enjoy chocolate! And the week before her next treatment she may well feel good, I’m at my best then so arrange to do something in that week, it helps break the monotony of when you don’t feel great. If she feels good go with it and do whatever you can. Also invest in some elastic waisted trousers, tracksuit bottoms, etc, I can gain or loose 6lb in wind, constipation, generally water retention, I got some nice semi smart ones from Next.  Good luck to you both, always here if you need some support x