2nd time round

FormerMember over 3 years ago

4 replies
472 subscribers
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i joined this group in 2014 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and found it so helpful

i have just been diagnosed with secondary breast cancer which has affected my muscle in chest wall, front and back, right arm and possibly right lung.

im in a very weird place. My initial breast cancer I handled dismally and hit the bottle. I have not touched alchohol for 3 years now, even after this diagnosis. I think I’m dealing with it ok but when I let my head think too much I go into a very dark place so I’m avoiding that at all costs. I’m 56 and just have my first grandchild who I adore( she is 3 months) but I get feelings of terror and anxiety when I think of not seeing her growing up. My husband, family and friends keep telling me to stay positive, which I do most of the time and I paint on a happy face but the fact that I know this isn’t going away and I have to find a new normal terrifies me. I’m also off work at moment as I have very little use in my right arm which frustrates me so much, there’s only so many books to read. I don’t think of timelines if possible but the fact that I know there is one makes me weepy. I’m looking forward to connecting with everyone who knows what it’s like to be going through this xxx

FormerMember over 3 years ago

Dear Allison65, Your post just flagged up for me and I instantly wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you and I'm thinking of you. Whilst my own breast cancer story is different, I do understand the sheer terror of considering the future as, like many who will read your post, I have been there too. It's a struggle to try and "stay positive" and constantly mask how you are feeling to protect others and certainly I have found myself raging, terrified, weepy and experiencing a kaleidoscope of other competing emotions which just well up unexpectedly, prompted, perhaps, by no more than a kind word from someone who cares. The one 'mantra' that really helped me, in my darker moments (and, do forgive me, I've repeated this in other posts) is "You don't need to predict how everything will play out, just master the next step and
continue moving in the right direction". I hope that you have a medical team you can trust and that you find the support you need here. Well done for coping with this so far without resorting to the bottle, you are amazing! I am hugging you. Kathie x

FormerMember over 3 years ago

Thank you so much, your reply has helped already xx

Daisy53 over 3 years ago

Hi Allison65

Sorry to hear that your breast cancer has come back again.

Wishing you all the best with your treatment going forward.

Best wishes

Daisy53 x

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to Daisy53

Thank you, feeling better already after posting xx

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