sorry to hear that! I am also caring for my mum who has breast cancer and I am finding it tough too. She has just had her 3rd cycle of chemo and is not coping well and she feels like giving up on treatment, I don’t know how to support her through all this so that she continues with treatment as this is what the doctors have said would be best before doing surgery. She is so fed up of the chemo and I just don’t know how to be there for her the way she needs me to be. I can’t talk about it with anyone, my friends and family either get too upset or I feel like they just don’t understand, I’m finding it difficult to cope which make me feel like is the reason I also don’t feel good enough to be caring for my mum, I also feel so guilty that I don’t feel im coping because my mum is the one with cancer and so she must feel 100 times worse than I do I feel so selfish
Hi lilosun, it’s so hard watching someone you love going through this, I feel so sad for you. I see you and Sara9 have connected which is great as you are in the same position and hopefully can share your worries and concerns, I believe you can chat privately on this forum too if that helps you both. Please ring Macmillan and let them help you with finding local support and listen to you, they really are amazing and there is support out there. Your mum is so lucky to have you and have your support and love, please keep reaching out and we’ll do all we can to help you x
Irishgirl16 thank you for linking your blog! I’ve just had a read and the advice on taking the anti sickness tablets before she feels sick is something I will certainly try get my mum to do as she experiences nausea in the first week after having chemo
we cannot feel guilty for the way we feel I’ve been thinking that this past few days am I just not emotionally equipped to deal with all this am I weak is that why am finding this all so hard but someone said to me you have to dig deep so we are only human we have feelings as much as our mums are going through this we are going through it too. It is very hard to watch as you see the physical effects of chemo I had to give my mum an injection the day after her chemo which I was super nervous about and and then the night before she also asked me would I shave her hair and then that was the one I was more nervous about instead of doing injection we just have do this x
I know we should feel guilty but sometimes it can’t be helped you know? I feel guilty for wanting to go out with friends because it’s just me and mum home most the time as everyone in the household works all evening/night, I don’t like to leave mum home alone in case something happens and I’m not here, but I know it’s important for my own sanity that I make the time to be able to go out and have a break but it’s a difficult situation. I too had to give my mum injection next day, and I have the worst phobia of needles I can’t even be in the same room if someone is having an injection, but I had to force myself to put my phobia of needles aside so that I could do this one thing for my mum and it’s something I don’t mind doing at all because I feel it is the least I can do for her. Mum hasn’t shaved her head although she only has a few hairs left, we’ve recently bought a wig though. It’s weird I never would really think of my mum to feel self conscious after all the telling off I would get for wearing make up from a young age lol but obviously she is human I know we can feel self conscious it’s just something I never thought of her feeling, she is such a strong woman who has gone through far too much in life and I feel she is the last person who should be going through all this, i still can’t believe that my mum has cancer like just saying it always feels so unreal. I can’t imagine how you must feel this being the second time for your mum, my heart really goes out to you and your mum and if anytime you want to private message me please don’t hesitate xx
