Partners

Hi I was diagnosed just over 4 weeks ago and had operation last Friday, I had a lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy and will have radiotherapy and hormone meds. I think it still hasn’t sunk in to be honest, I cried at first and had a bit of a melt down but nothing really in the last 3 weeks, my partner has been very supportive and let’s me talk but just says you’ll be fine, he hasn’t really said how he feels, I think he’s trying not to fall apart because that won’t help me. Although he did say that Friday was an extremely stressful day because he was worried sick whilst I was in surgery and fussed over me when we got home.

I just think it’s ok to feel whatever you’re feeling whether it be crying, anger, shouting or why me, there are no rules, just be kind to yourself, you aren’t going mad and you’re not in denial.

What operation did you surgeon suggest? Mine gave me the option between a lumpectomy or mastectomy, I asked her which she would have, she told me lumpectomy as having a mastectomy would have no impact on the outlook as my lump was 9mm, grade 1.

Maybe your husband doesn’t want to show you how he’s feeling because he doesn’t want to add to your worries, he just wants you to be ok and you will be.

How old are your 2 boys, my daughter is 27 and she’s been with me and researched about it from my diagnosis to my operation, she hasn’t been upset in front of me because she told me it wouldn’t help me seeing her upset.

Wishing you well for you operation this week and just remember whatever you’re feeling is completely normal.

Sending you big hugs and positive thoughts 

Diane x

Hi Beachy, my partner has been supportive to me, but I think that the thing that has helped him the most has been him telling his friends and colleagues. I was annoyed/upset about this at first, especially as I haven’t even told my family, only a few people at work, but now I feel that this has really helped him, especially finding out that many people had been through this or similar. Has your partner told anyone of your situation?

Hi

Yes he has told work colleagues and friends and has now told me he is worried re outcome of the op as i hav AF.  I hadnt even given that a thought really.  He is trying to be there fr everyone and support us all. Not easy with me, when sometimes I can be a right cow, one minute im laughing with him and then questioning as to how he can laugh in this situation poor man. Maybe after thurs, things will b a little easier, altho still hav radiotherapy and hormones to ge thro, and us girls hav probs with our hormones dont we.  Thank u fr yr reply 

Also diagnosed a month ago with DCIS with highly active cells. Surgery today to remove a 53mm area. Surgeon pleased with how it went. Home now , little pain. 
The waiting for several weeks was the worst. Actually better once only 2 days to wait. OPA 9th August.