New to breast cancer and finding talking hard

Hi ski4jen - so sorry that you have found yourself on this journey and you have done the right thing in writing it down in this forum as it os so safe and welcoming. I'm quite new on the journey although I have had 2 surgeries so far and just waiting on an oncotype test on a lymph node to see if I need chemo as well as radiotherapy. I didn't tell many people at first either - it really is all consuming isn't it x It really has helped me keeping a journal which I write every night (the good & bad feelings) before bedtime and it helps me to sleep well too. I didn't tell my mum until after my first surgery as she lives alone and I didn't want her to worry. I kept thinking I am so glad it's me as people who love me don't know how I am feeling so it's actually more difficult for them. I am very glad I have now been truthful with Mum as we can talk (I keep it positive to be fair). As women I find we have guilt whatever we do or feel so take everything at your own pace and tell people only when you feel ready to. Remember self-care is not selfish and there is always a listening ear on the forum day or night. Good luck and lots of love - Sharon A x 

Hello ski4jen, i too am having my surgery on the 7th July, Ive been on a rollercoaster of emotions, but apparently this is normal to be feeling like this. I myself only joined this group last week, everyone is lovely... x

Thank you Sharon, fingers crossed for your oncotype test.

I did tell my parents (in their 80's) about a month ago, because I thought I should tell them before my surgery- they would be upset if not told. But had I known about the delay I wouldnt have told them so soon, having them worry is consuming like you say. In fact after a few weeks of daily phone calls asking me about it, I had to say "please stop asking me about it- i know you are worried, but this isnt helping me!"

Pepsiepixie, do you know your plan for surgery and treatment afterwards yet?

Good luck, your not alone xx

Hi Ski4JEN, I agree it’s difficult to get involved in the ‘small talk’, suddenly it all seems so petty when for the most part your mind is focused on one thing only. I have told only immediate family i.e. hubby and 2 adult children as I don’t want to be defined by everyone as the person who has bc.

Like you I have appt on Thursday for results of scans and am feeling extremely nervous about it to say the least! I just hope I can get some treatment plan sorted at least.

Good luck and hugs to all waiting, we are all here for each other xx

Invasive ductual carcinoma Grade 2 17 mm on scan. Hormone receptor positive, Her 2 Negative, and Axilla scan looked normal. I will be having a left wire guided , with Radioactive dye, Lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy. They mentioned that it depends on the result of the biopsy but they said it would be rad therapy.  My surgery date is the 7th July.. x

Hope your results are favourable on Thursday Mrs Polly. Fingers crossed for us both.

Agree with you, I dont want to be defined as someone with bc, ive not accepted thats me yet. xx

Think Im similar. I was told Invasive stage1, grade 2 15mm on scan, hormone receptive positive, HER 2 negative, Lumpectomy and Lymph node biopsy. But details to be confirmed dependent on new biopsy results from 2nd area.

Will let you know! X

Fingers, toes ( and paws ) crossed for us all xx

Hi, your story is so similar to mine, i am due to find out about my MRI tomorrow and am hoping its just the one tumour which has been diagnosed as stage 1 grade 2.  I too have the same feelings and the uncertainty about my future which is making me anxious.  I have talked to some family and close friends and it does help so try to do this.  I have spent many hours laying awake worrying.  The waiting is definitely hard.  Im dreading tomorrow but think i will feel better when i know the plan.    Good luck xx