Hi

Hello, How long ago was your wife first diagnosed with cancer?  I have never heard of a 'barn door' cancer so you need to get the consultant to clarify what he is talking about.  The waiting does seem interminable but I was diagnosed mid October and didn't have my operation until begining of December, I didn't have chemo but started radiotherapy 3 weeks ago. They may want to do chemotherapy first and then do the operation, followed by radiotherapy.  Your wife should have been given a contact number for a Breast Care Nurse who will be able to answer any questions you may have and also let you know about when treatment will start.  It sounds like you have been consulting 'Dr Google' which is possibly the wrong thing to do as some information is wrong and some out of date.  Try to only use trusted sites like Macmillan and Breast Cancer Now.

All the best for your wife's treatment. Sending virtual hugs.

Hi Lesley 63 

She was diagnosed In January, around the 25th. By barn door, I think he meant a normal breast cancer inferring the lobule was unusual which at first look he had diagnosed then said barn door normal, We have only really had short periods of time with the surgeon and the Macmillian nurse, three visits to the breast screening building, two with long waits in excess of 5 hours !! We are worried it's growing and moving to other parts of my wife's body and the endless waiting is taking its toll.  There are so many questions, and I asked directly, which seem to have a very watered-down answer when answered. ‘Will she die from this, ‘Will we get a good result from this, ‘Having seen this many times where are with this,’ is the delays to treatment risking it spreading to other parts of her body. All answered with, we can’t say, or we cant tell at this time. Let’s see how this scan goes, How long do patients survive from the first diagnosis, have we got years now of treatment by periods of being well then treatment and cycles of being well and then ill and then well.  

She has it in three places on her breast, they biopsied two, it’s in her armpit and now after another scan its looks to be in her neck, in the lymph nodes, so it looks like she has cancer in her breast in three places under her arm, and now suspected in her neck. The surgeon says if it's in the neck then it's chemo first and then surgery, if not in the neck then surgery and then some form of chemo or? 

I have looked at Google but do take much of the information with a pinch of salt. I am looking for a forum that she could use, I think if she could look at others in the same boat she might start to feel not so scared and could have empathy with others. She never smoked or drank. Life is so cruel at times.  

We're currently waiting on the results of the biopsy in her neck which will hopefully determine the treatment and plan going forward,  the team meetings are Wednesdays, and Wednesday week is when they will discuss my wife's latest biopsy. once they know what's what on Wednesday do you think they will then book the treatment there and then on after the meeting to prevent wasting more time, or will it be another two weeks. 

Kind regards   

Hi, There isn't such a thing as 'normal' breast cancer. There are several main types of cancer, some more prevalent than others. If there was a risk of it spreading to other parts of the body during the delay they wouldn't be waiting for test results and would start hitting it with chemo.  Removal of the breast and underarm lymph nodes is fairly straight forward but it they need to remove the nodes above the collar bone (known as level 3 lymph nodes) it is, obviously, a more complex operation so they will need to hit it with chemo first to see if they can clear those nodes.  Do you know the  subtype of cancer she has. i.e. is it hormone receptive (er/pr+, her2+ or triple negative)? This would have been detected with the first set of biopsies.

This forum is very friendly and there is the 'awake' thread which is a general chat for anyone needing to chat any time day or night.  There is usually someone on there 24 hours a day just to have a chat with. 

I hope you get some answers soon and that your wife's treatment will start soon.

Wishing you all the best. I have just been diagnosed with breastcancer third time. Scans, biopsies etc...waiting for results has been my worst nightmare. Yesterday I was told April 1 my surgeon will discuss results. I live alone, age 69 in lockdown and have received support through macmillan on the telephone.

I call my breastcancer nurse or the macmillan navigator for help to understand where things are at. Sometimes I feel desperate as the waiting seems to be forever. 

Do call your nurse and medical team and ask your questions? They will support you and be honest. 

Keeping you both in my prayers. 

Lieve

Thank you for your lovely message. Wishing you a speedy recovery and more luck this time. I think we will engage more with the nurses and push a little bit harder to get this sorted. 

I am trying to get my wife a comfortable outlet that she can use when she needs to we had a massive cry last night which always helps even for a little while. I do feel positive regards the outcome but it's hard to convey this to my wife all the time. She is mainly strong but like all of us, she has her moments. The speed of everything seems to be the factor in all cancer diagnoses. I wish you well. 

Kind regards   

Do cry and keep supporting your wife. I thought (in my ignorance) that everything would be OK and did not ask anyone (even family) for support. It suddenly hit me weeks later that I might need support but probably this forum has been best as I don't want to have personal discussions.

I am positive that everything is fine and I will get through this.

Good luck!

Newbee 

Hi, yes the waiting is absolute torture, but as a breast cancer patient and a previous oncology nurse specialist, there are very strict timed  national pathways for cancer care, the Team MDT meet weekly to ensure that there is a multidisciplinary approach to patient centred care, the MDT will need to discuss further biopsy results to then recommend next steps regarding surgery versus chemo. As previously suggested if positive biopsy then strong chance of chemo initially as systemic treatment .

Maggie’s Centres are wonderful places with a wealth of support, not sure where in UK you are, but strongly recommend contact if one nearby, they offer complementary therapies, groups of similar folk sharing experiences, financial advice, booklets, look good feel better season, gorgeous gardens and sometimes just a friendly face and a cup of coffee!

xx

xc

Well, we have a week from yesterday for the next MDT and then hopefully a plan and the start of treatment which I'm sure will bring its own worry and problems but at least we will have made a start on the road to recovery. I've had a look at Maggie's and will suggest this as well as Macmillian to my wife over the weekend. 

Kind regards.