Where do I start?

Hang in there

You'll find quite a few on here that have been through it all - me included, and I reckon I've come out the other side a better person and with a better body too! So yep there are many success stories on here.

Have a look at my profile for the treatment/diagnosis gubbins and I really wish you the best of luck - obviously it would be great if your issues were all a load of fuss & nonsense (but best to get these things checked) and if they're not you'll pull through and find your inner strength to do so.

I'm now 1 1/2 yrs post diagnosis and absolutely loving life (EVEN in lockdown), super healthy & happy.

Sam

HI
I'm sorry that you find yourself here, but equally, I'm glad you've found us.

If there's any advice I can give it will be not to think the worst from the outset.  Take one step at a time and you will find it far more manageable.  Breast cancer treatments have developed so much, year on year on year and because it is one of the most prevalent a lot of research has gone into treatments.  There are so, so many women who aren't on this forum who've had breast cancer and haven't come back because they are happily getting on with their lives post breast cancer.  
Some of us do hang around to see if we can help out and me, personally I'm nearly 4 years post diagnosis and amazingly sometimes I even forget that I've had it, despite taking tablets daily since diagnosis and for another year or so.

Wait and see what your diagnosis is and then your doctors will tell you what their plan is for your treatment.  They will give you the type of breast cancer you have, the grade and stage.  At that point you will know an awful lot more and know exactly what you are dealing with,

Don't automatically assume that it;s a death sentence, but I can assure you 100% that it isn't.  Even when I went travelling (launched into far flung destinations not long after to make the most of life!!), my travel insurance premium didn't even go up because it was deemed to be cut out and treated!

If you're worried about your parents, maybe it's best to leave telling them until you know more and you'll be able to give them an exact plan as to what will be happening.  A lot of people don't know what to say/ feel helpless, so if they know what's going to happen it will be a lot easier for them to cope with.

I hope this helps a little

Thank you Sam. Even two people taking the time to respond to me with positivity offers some hope. I just want to hear the consultant say “we’ve got this, we can do xyz and then it’ll all be ok”. Thank you so much for responding. I am sad but lucky to have found a community who have (unfortunately) gone on this journey. I will have a read of your profile. 
kindest regards 

llinos 

Thank you so much for taking time to write such a positive lovely message. Your kindness cannot be measured. I sincerely appreciate your words.it has hit me like a punch to the face. I think I can handle the breast cancer side of it, it’s the not knowing where else it’s lurking. I’ll find out more on Tuesday and will definitely hold out from having a chat with my parents until I know more.

I have to fight this, I have no choice! I have two little beautiful girls , and I want to capture their milestones 

thanks again 

So sorry to read you’re feeling so scared and anxious.  It’s totally understandable but as lesleyhelen said, it’s not an automatic death sentence.  I am 5 years post diagnosis and am fine. Still here and not planning of checking out anytime soon!  Treatment is not always easy but worth it to ensure you do get to see those lovely girls grow up and maybe hug your grandchildren if they supply you with some!

I have come through this with one implant ( call her Jordan) occasional aches and borderline osteoporosis from hormone blockers.  The consultant says that my bone density may improve when I come off the treatment in September.

I have to say that these forums are a great source of comfort and support so use them.  You are talking with the only people who will have any idea what it’s like in our situation.

Take care xxx

. Sorry you find yourself her and these limbo days are awful full of "what if";  I take it they e told you they are fairly certain it's breast cancer but not given you a treatment plan yet.  Once you have a treatment plan you feel more in control.  

2015 I was diagnosed and I still remember the stress etc.   I got off lightly with treatment haveibg surgery to remove offending areas followed my radiotherapy.  No chemo for me as not required.  

My daughter was 19 and away in uni so I didn't tell her I had be3n recalled , had biopsy etc. until I firm diagnosis and outline treatment plan.  

your time and energy is precious - try not to waste it on fretting and speculating on what might be - let the process of diagnosis play out and take each step as it comes. Instead, let your energy, time and attention spent with loved ones AND on you, nourish you mentally and emotionally.

Self care comes in all shapes and forms - figure out what’s yours. Mine was hugs, walks, baking/cooking and more recently being able to get back into the garden. It would also include a cuppa in an Epsom salts bath, but I’m a week or so away from that as want my surgical scar to be as healed as possible ahead of radiotherapy. 

My parents are in their 70s, so quite young in the scheme of things. I told them when I knew my path for diagnosis - of course my mum still asked 101 questions that I simply didn’t have answers for, but that’s her also processing. We told our teenage girls, 17 and 20. Figured they should know what’s going on and we also had to jointly consider their movements and contact with others to reduce risk for me amid diagnosis and treatment, given they live between us and their mum, plus one returned from uni mid-diagnosis. 

I’m 45, adopted and with no family medical history, so my medical what ifs are a complete unknown. I have chronic psoriasis (very effectively managed now) with 8 weekly injections because all other traditional tablets tried over the years just didn’t work for me, to the point that they damaged my kidneys and I now have medically induced type 2 diabetes - I’m also part of a research study so anyone with my genetic markers hopefully wouldn’t have to go through years of trying meds that simply won’t work.  

So self care is the order of the day every day and most importantly, ongoing work on not feeling guilty for putting me first. Like life jackets or oxygen masks in emergencies - put yours on first and then you’re in the best shape to help others. 

Take care and each day as it comes. Know you’re surrounded here by people who understand and are willing to share their experiences - in part cathartic for me to share and balanced in knowing I’m hopefully giving support to others like you. We’re here for you x

LHS, I am so glad that you have found us on here but sorry at the same time. I am the same age and went to a one stop clinic in August 2020 after I felt a lump (my 3 year old bumped into me so literally saved my life!). I was diagnosed there and then with breast cancer but they could not tell me anything more about it until my biopsy result two weeks later. It is the longest two weeks of your life but you will get there. Everybody has given you great advice. I just wanted to to offer you reassurance that I felt exactly the same and even bought clothes and gifts for my son for years into the future as I felt convinced that I wouldn’t be around to see him grow up but once I knew my treatment pathway, I felt slightly more in control and positive. 
I had surgery to remove my tumour, surrounding tissue and lymph node after first consultant said I would need a mastectomy so be prepared that things may change as you go. I am just about to complete my chemo and start on radiotherapy then hormonal treatment and infusions for the next five years. I have my down times but also happier moments and bounce between the two. Be kind to yourself and try to take things in bite size manageable chunks. I found it helpful to keep a note of what I was told, by whom and when as you can quickly get lots of info thrown at you! You may require this for insurance claims /provide to your employer if you work etc. I made my parents aware but they are in their mid 60s and so made judgement call. You know your parents best and it sounds like a good plan to sit down and have a good chat when you are in possession of more info and a bit of a plan as to where you go next. This also helps you to work out the practicalities especially in the middle of a pandemic. 
Please let us know how you get on. We are all thinking and rooting for you. 
Warm hugs,

Bekky

xx

Grogg, please don’t feel like you were let off lightly just because you didn’t have chemo! You have fought this nasty disease just the same! 
Warm hugs, Bekky

xx

Thank you Sarah for toy your kind words. The not knowing what’s the state of play is the worse. I do want to see the children grow up but I’ve gone to a place where I’m thinking that it’s not going to happen. So thinking the worse even those the consults said that this is treatable. I don’t know how he can say that as he doesn’t know if it’s spread to other areas. I just want to crawl under a rock. I’d rather not have found out at all and just carried on with life as I knew it. It was easy and simple and safe then. This is limbo, torture and distressing xxx