Hi - one year on

Keep positive and keep doing what makes you happy, keep up beat and smile, you are a winner in this, so keep on the winning team!

Hi

It won't come as a surprise for even the most annoyingly positive people that not being able to see your pals will have an impact on your usual rays of joy.  I really enjoy my own company but do really miss seeing my pals and am buoyed by the fact that we now have a roadmap out of this nonsense , why don't you start making plans to see your friends?  I would also add that none of my pals will not be hugging me...its a prerequisite and hope your pal will see 'sense' soon.

I'm also planning a celebration with pals ( not sure what yet) to thank them for all their support, visits, phone calls, gifts, cards etc whilst undergoing treatment as well as for my finishing treatments (this was May 2020) and being put back together like the bionic woman (DEIP reconstruction Dec 2020)...can't wait!

It may of course, and I really hope this isn't the case, that your best pal needs changing, I find her attitude very off for a best pal and personally (though am a very blunt, no nonsense Yorkshire lass) would find another one who could support and was willing to hug indefinitely.  I am the first of all my pals to go through breast cancer and they've all been there to share in the ups and downs - actually think they've had more downs than me!

So you will be able to celebrate soon, keep focussed on that and start planning!

Sam

Oh dear. I’m so sorry you feel down. Remember we are all here to support you and I’m sure everybody has had their down days so we can, maybe, understand how you are feeling.

I am sorry about your friend but I do think some People just don’t know how to react and some people are frightened of what to say. I met a friend when we were walking our dogs. She had not been in touch with me all through the treatment. I could have been cool, but she said she would like to walk with me and she said she wanted to make contact but didn’t know how to or what to say. I told her about the treatment and what was happening for me. After the walk she’s been in touch. I just think it’s hard for people. So if you can give some leeway (I know it’s hard as we should be getting all the support we can) you may find the friendship flourishes again. 

I also have a brilliant friend who has been in constant contact but seems to have a way of saying the wrong things eg: it’s not so bad this chemo is it, you look the best you’ve looked for 10 years with the wig on, at least you’ve been able to lose some weight. But I think it’s all nerves and people Not knowing what to say. So I laugh and that helps. 

funny that we have to contend with the treatment and all the feelings of those around us. It’s a big ask

let us know how you are getting on and how you are feeling. We are just a message away 

HI badger 1616 It will be 1 year in April since I finished the 'nasty treatment, but let's be honest tamoxifen is no picnic is it, you have to remember you have been through so much mentally and physically and people who don't know naturally think that when the treatment is over, it's over and we will spring back to how we were before diagnosis and thats without walking straight out of the chemo unit into a pandemic and lockdown and isolation, more isolation, what im saying here is please cut yourself some slack, its not over, you will have tough days, we have had no normalcy since the end of treatment so we still have to experience that day light where we can get our breath back, my advice? A year on? Remember how you kept your head up through all that and be lovely to yourself and if you have off day that's OK

We know, much love

Oh and you will get all the hugs you need when the time is right off the right people, you've been this patient

Hi Badger, I’ve just read your post and agree with the other postings here, that it seems to be difficult for other people who have not been through the same experience as us to actually understand just how we are feeling.  I thought it must be me when still feeling exhausted a lot of the time one year after chemo finished, but a best friend said, I’ve been through a major operation and a year of Herceptin injections after a bad round of chemo, sickness, losing weight (that was a positive) etc., so be kind to yourself and if you feel down, allow yourself to feel like that for a while, then resolve to make a comeback.  I’ve had a stressful year of it, hubby was diagnosed with cancer just as I started my chemo journey, so he’s a few weeks behind me, but he’s still here so far and his hair is a lot longer than mine as it grows back, but his is ultra curly, which he hates!  He can’t  wait to get to a hairdressers.  I had waist length hair previously, so I’m not worried about getting mine cut.  Stay strong, we are off the rollercoaster, but now stuck in the mire, so with everyone here helping, we will make progress and come back stronger.  You are not alone.