Struggling!

Hi M and M,

Giving you a big hug. you poor thing.  I am so sorry that you are suffering so much at this time. No wonder you are struggling to keep going with your everyday life, your mind must be working ten to the dozen. I am currently undergoing chemotherapy for my breast cancer (I have a three year old son) and my Nan has terminal breast cancer. What age is your daughter?

Sending you lots of positive vibes

Bekky

xx

Hello, gosh you have a lot of your plate at the moment. I don’t really have any words of wisdom, but wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you feel...whatever you are feeling is normal and ok! It is a really difficult time and your daughter is going to worry. Maybe tell her that you are much younger than nan, and they have found your cancer really early and they have already cut all the bad stuff out. Take whatever time you need off work, I’m sure they will understand and if you want to cry, cry, if you want to shout, shout and if you want to be alone then that’s fine too. I hadn’t really cried until I came out of surgery then cried all over the consultant who gentle wiped my tears away, which made me cry more.. take some time to look for the positives and perhaps buy a little treat for when you get home from radiotherapy tomorrow that you and your daughter could share, wising you luck for tomorrow x

Hi M and M, as has been said already you have so much to deal with at the moment, not surprising that you’re tearful. Also I think it hits us each at different times, a cancer diagnosis is a huge thing to deal with, and you’re also having to support your daughter through your mother in law’s cancer. Big trauma for you. I am wondering if it would help to get signed off work? If you have decent sickness cover? Some people feel better just carrying on and work throughout radiotherapy and even chemo. But in my case I was lucky to have good cover and my school actually encouraged me to take all the time I needed. I was off much longer than I had expected - from  my op near end of October till the last week of February, which was a month after my rads finished. My job (special needs teacher) was very physical but I was also just not ready mentally till then, if even then when I look back. A lot depends on the nature of your job of course, but you do need to try to look after yourself as I am sure, like the rest of us, your default is to look out for everyone else! 
Sending love and a big virtual hug, HFxx

Thank you Bekky, Cyprusfav and HappyFeet1 for your replies.

I have spoken with the breast nurse and she suggested I maybe take time off work and reassured me this is normal to feel like this. I had been doing so well up til now. This has knocked me for six and I know I can't work like this. I work in a school supporting an autistic child, so can't be crying in front of the children! Even reading your replies I am crying, you are all going through so much yourselves and I thank you for taking the time to reply my message. I am finding it difficult to reach out to friends when I feel like this.

I am going to take myself out for a long walk. I'm sure the fresh air and exercise will do me good and if I still feel like this tomorrow I know I will need to get myself signed off from work.

Wishing you all the very best and thank you again. xx

Hi M and M, I agree with all that has been said by the other ladies .Having a cry is a good safety valve , much better than keeping it all bottled up. The enormity of this diagnosis catches up with us all at some stage. For me it was the day I finished my radiotherapy- I expected to feel elated and ended up crying my eyes out. Wishing you an easy run through the RT and hope you can have a heart to heart with your daughter to assure her that your cancer has now gone and the RT is just belts and braces. I am sorry to hear that your mother -in -law does not have much time left and this will be an added strain for you all. Sending big but gentle hugs to you all xxKwissy

Thank you Kwissy.

Having a good cry and getting it out of my system is good. A good long walk has helped to tire me out so hoping for  a good nights sleep and maybe feeling better in the morning. xx

Hi M and M so sorry you are going through this.  We all get overwhelmed and it's much better to have a cry and let it all out than to try and hold it in.  It sounds like you have been very fortunate with lumpectomy and no spread so hang onto the fact that that is great news and that breast cancer is really treatable these days.

And remember that you are now cancer free and if any bits of cancer are left then the radiotherapy will soon get rid of those little blightrers  too!  I would tell your daughter this.  The cancer is gone and your treatment is now to mop up any random bits of cancer left in your breast with radiotherapy (which it will) and hormone therapy is to help prevent it coming back.

Your cancer will be different to your mother in law's (does she have breast cancer too) so what happens to her isn't going to be what happens to you.  You have more or less kicked cancers butt, hang in there a bit longer.

Sending hugs and good wishes xx

Cyprusfav Hi Cyprusfav, how have you been?  Glad you got your surgery done and hope you are recovering well.

xx

Walking has been my sanity saver M and M, love it for so many reasons. I mainly post on the Walking back to Happiness thread which is in the ‘Chat’ section. We also post photos from walks, have a look and join in if you fancy it. HFxx

Thank you GodWilling, that did make me smile when you said I've kicked cancers butt. I have told my daughter how lucky I have been. Knowing this I can tell she is still worrying. She is a sensitive soul.

My mother-in-law has bowel cancer so quite different to mine. They just didn't catch it in time.

I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but this week things just got to me. As the day goes on I have been crying less. Talking on here and reading your replies has helped, so thank you all xx