A nervous hello

It will probably hit you when you least expect it.  I was quite calm even when the doctor gave me a 'look' when he said there is something there but we can deal with it.  It hit me when I got a letter for an oncology appointment even though I hadn't actually had it confirmed for definite.  I have had my mx and lymph node clearance now but it still sometimes just 'hits' me and I cry for no real reason.  When/if it happens, don't try to hold back just to be strong for your family and friends, it is their turn to be strong for you.

Thank you for that, just feel like I need to be the strong one but we can’t always be can we?

Hi Mountain girl, it's great you're taking it so well and whether it hits you or not remains too be seen as we are all different.  But falling apart or having a cry doesn't mean you are not strong so don't hold it in as it's better for you to let it all out if and when your body decides that's what it needs to do.  I was diagnosed a couple of weeks ago and fell apart a bit for a few days fearing the worst at only 51 years old but now for the moment I mostly feel fine.  I'm more annoyed about having to self isolate for 2 weeks more than anything else at the moment. Hope it all goes well for you.

I hear ya...

I was diagnosed in October and I'm still waiting for it to hit...but I know its coming. Been too busy making sure everyone else is OK. Oncology next week and plan for radiotherapy. 

Good luck with your treatment plan. Just know that it may still come and sneak up on you when you least expect it. Just go with the flow. Your mental heath is as important as your physical wellbeing. 

Debs

Hi god willing, I have just read your profile and I’m in a similar situation to you. Age 50, grade 2, found in routine mammogram. I’m waiting for treatment plan and then I think it will hit me, Tuesday! 

i feel like you mountain girl.. why cant I crying? Why I am not angry? I guess we are all different and in my head we deal with it in the way which is personal to us. There is no right or wrong way to react to. I even tried to make myself cry today as everyone keeps saying cry, let it out, it will help but nothing. Just gave myself a headache! So went for a walk instead. 

I’m sure when you are ready you will deal with in whatever way is right for you, but I have accepted that I’m going to need some help and have promised myself I will ask for it when I need it. 

Sending love and laughter wherever we can find it x

Glad I’m not the only one, feel a bit of a fraud, everyone is phoning to ask if I’m ok, and doing that sad look on video call, and I’m like honestly I’m ok. Feel like I shouldn’t be, but I am at the moment.

Hi Cyprusfav, what's the story behind the name are you Cypriot? 

It could be you are in still in shock and that's why it hasn't hit you or maybe it just won't.  All I have to do to make myself cry is watch a sad movie, or just the news it's always so miserable. 

I found that I felt better after I was given my plan but found the waiting before hand really difficult.  Once i knew (well I won't really know till the sentinel node biopsy and the operation on the 16th) that it hadn't spread and that it was only in the one breast I felt more positive and optimistic.  I guess once I felt it was very likely treatable and curable I felt ok.  

I still haven't told my sons, I can't bring myself to put them through this especially the waiting.  I will tell them a day or two before my operation and hopefully after the op I will be cancer free and nothing for them to worry about.

I guess you won't get any surgery dates until after all your results are back.  When are the rest of your results due?

I don't think I could cope with people's sad looks and that tilt of the head that usually comes with it.  I have the odd wobble but not really since the first week after I found out.  It's all so very treatable these days and I think that's why we feel fine.  I won't be telling people until after it's all over as I really can't stand the awkwardness and that sad looks it creates in people.  I'm much happier chatting to all you lovely ladies on this site.  Love and hugs and good wishes to you all.

Hi Mountain girl

1. Like you , I don't think it has hit me properly either. I was diagnosed the end of November. In the office when I was initially told I was in total shock, welled up but my immediate thoughts were my son. I sat and tried to absorb all the info and luckily had my husband with me . I know I felt out-of it walking out of the hospital, hubby saying go left , turn right etc. After,  I was more worried about my family asking if they were OK after I immediately told them. Since then I think I talk about it as though it's happening to someone else. However, surgery scheduled for the 15th so it will seem very real then. I actually told my old work friends yesterday and was very nervous and upset typing my message. I guess what I'm trying to say and I've learnt that from the ladies on here there is no right and wrong way to react and we'll all have good and bad days. Don't ever feel you're letting anybody down.Keep strong and positive xx

No, just my favourite place. Holiday in Easter wit( mum and daughter every year. I have appointment tomorrow so will get a surgery date then. As well as a likely treatment plan, but I guess that could change depending on surgery results. I told y 12 year daughter last week, had been dreading it, but she is fine and I’m so glad she knows that I have trusted her with this. I’m so proud of her. You know your sons the best and they will be supportive I’m sure when they do know. I think we are in a similar position, read my profile if you like and stay in touch x