Flat or Reconstruction

Hi, sorry to hear you are going through this. I had recon with implant 6 years after may original MX , I have now had another MX and have decided to remain flat that side. The implant side is annoying and can be painful lying on it at night. They will fit you with an expander which will be filled over a few weeks. It does not feel like a breast, just a shape. I am hoping to have it removed and go flat both sides when treatment is finished. If I could choose again I would stay flat. Every time I had a check up they kept asking me to have recon. Go with your gut instinct. Anna 

Hi Anna,  Thanks so much for getting back so quickly.   This is my first post on here and I have found so much comfort and support in all the blogs I have been reading.   Your reply has given me the confidence to perhaps go with my gut instinct as you say.   I will still do some research and hopefully read some more replies but you have given me such hope.  Thank you.  This is all so new and scarey.   Good to know we are not alone.   Happy New Year.  Sue

Hi,

I had a right sided mastectomy in April and decided to go flat, I have very large boobs, 38f and am coping with being flat very well. 

At first you are given a softie to pop into your bra and once you have healed you have an appointment with the prosthesis lady who helps you decide what size to have. I brought 2 padded mastectomy bras and took them with me to the fitting. Before I had the operation I thought you would be able to tell but this is not the case, which I am very grateful for.  It is very heavy and seems to balance me up. 

Go with your gut feeling. I decided I didn't want any more surgery as reconstruction would have to be done at a later date. 

I just pop my prosthesis in each morning and try to forget about it. I think of my scar as a token of the cancer gone.

Best wishes on your journey. X

Hi 

I had a mastectomy in 2016. i did feel a bit pressured to have reconstruction and at one point my GP letter stated that was the plan even though no-one had asked me - I was told it was assumed! I opted not to have reconstruction and initially asked for both breasts to be removed - any lingering regret would be that I only had one removed, I don't regret not having reconstruction - it's just not for me. It isn't without its own problems though - no more v-necks, limited bra choices, high neck swimsuits. I had to go to a black tie event a couple of months after my surgery and finding something to wear to that was a challenge. That might all sound a bit superficial, but it meant re-thinking my wardrobe and every time I see something and realise I can't wear it, it's a little reminder. 

Having said all that - on the whole it's fine - generally, I throw a knitted knocker in my bra and away I go without a second thought.

I wholeheartedly agree with following your instincts and remember nothing has to remain permanent - you can go flat and then change your mind, or have an implant and then change your mind. 

good luck with whatever you decide

R

Hello Sue,

I am 64 and I had a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction 6 weeks ago. I just could not see myself being flat on one side. It would have felt like mutilation, especially that it was very difficult for me to accept that the mastectomy was the only treatment on offer. I was not feeling ill at all and I felt that the mastectomy was the baddie, not the cancer. I had opted for an autologous (using my own lower abdomen tissues) reconstruction but unfortunately, there was not enough tissues so I chose to have an implant. (I met the plastic surgeon twice for the autologous reconstruction and she convinced me that the reconstruction is "the cherry on the cake".

I chose to have the implant placed before the chest muscle because I did not want my healthy muscles to be interfered with. It has been painful until now because the new breast swelled but that was expected. I must say that straight from the beginning, I have been very pleased with the result even if I don't have a nipple and my other breast is droopy.  It is true that the new breast does not feel like the other one but I am learning to love it and I hope that it will feel more normal in the future. It is early days yet and I hope to be able to go back to doing yoga now very soon as my range of movements is slowly coming back to normal. I had to sleep half-sat to start with, at least for the first two weeks but now I can completely lay down on my back. I can't really sleep on my sides as I could before.

My implant is tear-dropped and made of silicone. 

I hope this helps you. Unfortunately, this is a decision that we can only make alone but sharing with others will help you make-up your mind.

Take care.

Hi Booby J,

Thanks for your reply.   So good to hear of others' experiences.  You sound so positive and I hope to be like that too at the end of the day. 

At the moment I'm still undecided but coming down on my first thought which was just go for the mastectomy and get the pesky thing out asap.   Reconstruction just seems another hurdle that I don't need to jump just at present.   There is so much to take on board and deal with. 

I'm speaking with my Breast Care Nurse tomorrow and then my surgeon on Wednesday.   Hopefully by then I will have made a decision that the surgeon can work with and hopefully she can give me a date for the op.

Thanks again for your words and good luck for 2021!

SueHMac

Hi Ronstar,

Thanks for your msg.   I wasn't even aware that reconstruction was an option on the NHS until the Brest Care Nurse gave me the booklet and talked about implants, etc.  Now the topic seems to be taking over all other considerations for me.  

Good to hear you have been coping with this for the past 4 years and seem to have a very upbeat attitude about it all.  I hope to be just as positive in time.

I don't think you sound superficial at all.   Trouble is I think I am very vain and this has really thrown me.  But even so going flat does feel more and more the way I will go to start with. 

Everyone here is just great at giving online hugs and support.   Thank you.

SueHMac

Hi Shanty,

Good to hear from you.   You have been through a lot but still sound hopeful for the future.  Well done.  This is all so difficult isn't it?   Such a difficult decision to make just when you are feeling at your lowest, scared, confused, etc.

Sounds like you have made the right decision for you and I'm really pleased for you.  You have given me another side of the story to consider.  This is what I was hoping for when joining this community.  Armed with lots of different views I can try and make sense of what I want at the end of the day.

Thanks for all the information and advice.  

SueHMac

Good luck with whatever you decide. It is your choice. Please let me know how your operation went.

Wishing you all the best for the new year. Keep positive, it really helps.

BoobyJ

May I recommend a web site flatfriends.org.uk.  They have a forum for women who have decided to stay flat.