Recently started chemo

FormerMember over 4 years ago

4 replies
477 subscribers
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Hi all, I was diagnosed with tnbc on 06/10/20. I could not believe it, i thought I was going to get told its fine its a cyst and we can treat it now. Any way as everyone knows the procedure of all the test and biopsies before you get a clearer view of what your dealing with. I waited for two weeks for my biopsy results to be told I have t2 n2 m0. Tripple negative stage 3 grade 3a. I had a picc line installed what a night mare ive had twice its lost blood and twice ive had to go into a&e to have it checked. Chemo was starting on 18/11/20 having weekly cycles of taxol, carboplatin and ec. The first two weeks of chemo were weakening i had chronic fatigue, lethargic, poor appetite due to taste changes. After the second dose of chemo I was differed twice due to high kidney function, low white blood cells and low neutrophils. This worried me obviously because whilst this cancer is still there its obviously still growing. I then got an urgent appointment to see my consultant back at the breast clinic. I had an idea of what this was about. It was they had an appointment date for my mastectomy on 12/01/21 I felt so much emotion mixed feelings and I was scared. Basically my bloods wasn't catching up as fast as they should be so this is the right decision I was told. I was told the oncologist was going to book me in for one last treatment till my big date. On Wednesday 16/12/20 I was given taxol with carboplatin which made me feel very poorly, it made me physical and emotional ill. I didn't get out of bed for almost 3days it completely wiped me out. Once I've started feeling a bit better physically my depression and guilt kicked. As I have a little baby girl who turned 3 the other day I just feel so sorry for her having to watch me go through all this. She even wanted to have a bald head like me. When the district nurse came to inject me with some medicines my little girl shouted my mummy leave her alone. I could of cried my eyes out. I have another chemo session booked but I think I may need to call my consultant to check this is OK. Thanks to any body who can help and im also sending love to everyone out there and hope this may of been of help to someone else

GodWilling over 4 years ago

Hello Faithyroo, I'm so sorry you are going through this and with a young child. Mine children are early 20's and it still kills me to have to tell them (I haven't told them yet). Lots of us are going through what you are going through so you've come to the right place. I only got diagnosed a couple of days ago so still in shock and trying to get my head around it. I've had lots of wonderful support from this forum and especially on the AWAKE thread - take a look and say Hi. They are a welcoming wonderful bunch of ladies. Message if you are feeling down or want to chat and I'll reply.

FormerMember over 4 years ago

Hi GodWilling, thanks for your message. Im sorry you two are going through this. I feel so unlucky do you? It must be a difficult decision having to tell your children but I can honestly say if it was my mum who had cancer and she told me about this I would be her bestest support. How your feeling about telling your children was how I felt telling my mum but once it was out there gosh what a difference it felt inside. We cried we screamed but we did that together and were still fighting this together. It took me till my hair came out before it actually sank in really..I will have a look at what you have suggested. If you need to talk im here. Oh by the way I go for surgery next Tuesday which im anxious about but I will let you know how it went. Speak soon take care xx

Northerner over 4 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi welcome to the community although I do know you'd rather not be here . I won't bore you with my story but if you click on my name you can read it on my profile . I usually reside on the Awake site that Godwilling was telling you about . Just popped on here to say please believe me when I say after the rough time with chemo you will feel like the mastectomy is a doddle . By saying that I'm not trying to minimise how you are feeling about going through this .

I had mastectomy first and was shocked how well I felt physically after op full of drugs so ..uncomfortable rather than in pain . Said yes to everything offered . Mentally I was also ok because I felt I had got rid of cancer rather than lost a boob if that makes sense . Have to say being older helps with that .

So try to distract yourself and spend some happy time giving your daughter some cuddles . The waiting is the worst pop over to the other thread and have a look around .

One step at a time and ...Breathe !

xoxox

Margaret

GodWilling over 4 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi Faithyroo, I'm so glad you felt better after telling your mum.

My husband knows and that's enough for me for now. I'll tell my children a couple of days before my operation. Hoping that the op will go well with clear margins and then they only have a few days of knowing I had cancer as t will be gone.

Lot's of luck on Tuesday, just focus on that by the end of Tuesday you will likely no longer have cancer. I'm not particularly worried about the operation (mines on the 16th so not long after you) so if you get anxious and need to talk message me.

Not sure if i feel unlucky as such, maybe a bit. So many of us get breast cancer and if not breast cancer another cancer or some other illness. I feel lucky that it's breast cancer rather than another cancer as breast cancer has such a high treatment success rate.

Let me know how you get on on Tuesday and message any time you need to talk.

Sending big hugs xx

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