Awaiting biopsy results

I’m sure we will. Right now I’m lying in bed fearing that my stiff neck and occasional cough is evidence of metastasis... it’s non stop terror and it’s really unhelpful!!  The stiff neck is probably just tension but I’m steering clear of google for sure!!  I noticed that everyone apart from us is further down the road too. I’m tempted to take a diazepam to turn head off tbh. Hope you get some rest and good luck tomo Y.

Today is my first ok day where I've managed to control my fears and panic.  I read someones bio catkat or something like that and at the end she said she was one of the 96% to beat this so those are really good statistics.  But nonetheless it's natural to worry that we might not be one of the 96%.  I have had pains in my hip joints for a while and since my diagnosis I have been wondering the same thing you are about your stiff neck.  We just need to hang in there and hope that MRI scans show no spread.  The wait for those results is going to be horrific, i'm absolutely dreading it.  How is your children's father doing is his prognosis good? The others on awake are all further along which helps but it's nice (and not as I'd rather you weren't in this position) to have someone to talk to who is at a similar stage.  

Keep messaging if you need to and if I'm up I'll reply.

I'm nearing the end of cancer palaver thanks , just had DIEP breast reconstruction (using my stomach to create a new boob) and its gone really well and am recovering at a speed (need to keep telling myself to slow down...as does my plastic surgeon!).  All short term treatments finished and just ongoing hormone treatments.

As you asked I did get on with cancer treatment really well (odd I know and think I may be in the minority), my side effects were very manageable for me, I'm a tough northerner with a high pain threshold who just gets on with it, which along with an ever optimistic attitude has paid many dividends.  I won't lie there have been annoying times when feeling rough week after chemo and the annoying post surgical recovery (annoying as I needed to stop my exercise regime!) but otherwise I've enjoyed the change to routine, slowing down of life, meeting new people (real life & forum-wise) and opportunity that cancer afforded me (not sure why) to change my ways and get really healthy (lost 6 stone since diagnosis last year) - which is really helping my current post op recovery.

Have a look at my profile if you want all the long words re treatment! 

Good luck for Thurs X

Hello...I love your northern stoicism. I’m northern too tho not quite as far as Yorkshire as I’m in Cheshire and  generally a pragmatic doer but just having some serious pity party moments. I’m hoping it will pass by soon and I can get on with being me! Your take on cancer diagnosis and treatment is truly awesome and inspiring - I love it, thank you. And wowser congrats on the 6 stone - bloody amazing. I want to be amazeballs too. I think I will cope better once I know what I’m dealing with and can deal with the kiddos and crack on with it. This is on a non diagnosis basis of course but as my lovely onco chap said (tbf I pushed him) it’s in the right place, with the right appearance and texture so it’s highly likely.  Thank you for the support and wisdom and inspiration it’s truly truly appreciated xx

Hey GW x how did today go. Been thinking about you all day. I’m glad you had a more rational day and felt more okay and reconciled... I think that switch must turn on for everyone or we would go nuts!  My ex is stage 4 lymphoma but still hoping for a remission... treatment is 4-6 months but is slow due to very low platelets. My mum has cancer too so we could maybe just get a minibus organised for a family outing!!  I hope you are okay and glad today is another step forward on the road.  Keep your chin up and resolve strong xx

Ahh bless you Y.  It went well I didn't mind the MRI at all so if you need to have one hopefully you won't mind it either.  You go in face down with ear plugs and headphones but it's still very noisy.  So long as you don't mind the constant loud noises that's it.  I actually found the noise helpful and distracting.

Maybe you can all have your appointments together, that would help calm all of you down On a more serious note I'm sorry to hear your mother has it too.  What is going on in this world, I'm sure there wasn't this much cancer around when I was growing up.

Still feeling better than I was which is good, I think shock is a bit less and I am more optimistic about a positive outcome.  How are you feeling today?

Hello x so glad it went okay. When do you get the results from that?  Also really glad you have the terrors under control...I’m having moments of clarity then the flashing huge sign comes screaming back into my head. I think we will both be okay and when we look back in 12 months we can say, yea the start was real pants but look at us go now . Yes a family charabanc is probs the best idea!! I’m sure there was still as much but we just probs didn’t know then. I’ve taken much heed from Yorkshire defector - I love her humour and pragmatism and indeed success. I hope I can do the same for someone else in the future. As it is I’m drinking Advocaat and eating Nutella... health freak. Keep the positive pants on missus xx

Hi Y, results are tomorrow so I'm a bit anxious as they will determine the treatment plan.  Surprisingly I'm not as bad as I thought I would be.  Although I get a flash of panic every so often.  Like you said I think eventually something changes in our head and we accept the situation or we really would go nuts.  

Once I know what to expect re treatment and prognosis I might decide to tell my sons.  I really don't want to do this to them as they are both living happy lives at the moment.  Yours I know are younger and I really feel for you.

How are you coping today are you still in a tail spin or have you managed to calm your fears a bit?  Not too long before you get your results too.

I'll keep my positive pants on if you do too.  Sending hugs and kisses

Hello sweets..strapped the positive pants on and I'm with the programme.   Like you I have flashes of panic but it's not constant now...thank goodness.   Your results are quick, i have everything crossed for tomo for you.  At least you will finally know what you are dealing with and can crack on.  I think you should tell the boys when you know so they will understand how you are etc and you can share your treatment plan with confidence and positivity.   Pls fo let me know tomo nd i will be thinking of you xx ps where abouts are you.  I'm in cheshire xx

Hi Y, just got back and my boob feels like swiss cheese it's been proved and stabbed so much.  Not painful though.  I finally have my plan and I do feel better.  Lumpectomy Jan 16 to remove what they think is a 2cm tumour.  They never know for sure till they operate.  Oestrogen and progesterone receptors were positive and apparently this is the most common scenario - whether that's good or bad I don't know.  Then radiotherapy and won't know about chemo until they remove the tumour and analyse it.  I'm hoping no chemo but I'll have to wait and see.  I have never been a patient  person so all this waiting is really frustrating.

Not long now before you get your results, wishing you lots and lots of luck for tomorrow and for good results.  But whatever the results we will get through it just as so many others have done, it'll just be a bit of a bumpy ride so strap those positive pants down hard.  

Let me know how you get on tomorrow.  

I'm in London, shame we're not in the same place although with tier 4 restrictions we might as well be at opposite ends of the planet.

Hugs and kisses and lots of luck