Fear of reoccurence

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Hello i am new to the forum. I was diagnosed on 2nd of august with grade 3 stage 3 idc hr/pr negative her 2 positive. I am 33 and I have a 5 year old. 

I have had 2 rounds of neo adjuvant chemo so far and i have recently seen a plastic surgeon who has told me i need a mastectomy. I am having immediate diep reconstruction.

I am terrified. I constantly think about it spreading and reoccurrence and i havent even finished treatment. I feel like im destined for this to be everywhere. 

I am concerned because i had a chest abdo pelvis ct which was fine but showed a broken rib. I could explain the rib as i had injured myself lifting weights months ago and thought i had pulled a muscle in my rib. My oncologist was happy with this but when seeing the plasric surgeon he asked if it had heen investugated as it concerned him. I explained the situation to him and he seemed happy with the explanation too but now i keep worrying that i sgould have had further imaging. 

Sorry for long post i need to vent as i dont like burdening others with my worries. Im just looking for reassurance/ positive stories. 

  • Hi there,

    What a frightening time you're having at the moment and I'm glad you've found the forum so that you can share your worries.

    It may be worthwhile contacting your breast care nurse and explaining everything to her . I think it would be quite normal for you to feel concerned , even if you can identify an injury, and further investigation will just give you peace of mind which is just as important as physical treatment. It 's very normal to feel frightened about any changes in your body following a cancer diagnosis and your breast care team will be completely understanding of that, but if you're feeling overwhelmed by your anxiety please make contact with your GP or the breast care team and/or have a chat with the nurses at MacMillan or Breast Cancer Now 0808 800 6000. I have contacted the latter several times and have found them very understanding and helpful. 

    You mention burdening others with your worries, if you have close family and friends, you may find that they are pleased to share your worries and not consider it a burden, but their way of being able to support you .

    I hope that all your treatment goes well for you and sending you lots of love and hugs.

  • Hi  , it’s all very scary and easy to feel overwhelmed. Do reach out to the professionals for further reassurance, it sounds like they’re being thorough but of course it’s worrying when one of them raises questions. I would assume that the oncologist is the overall ‘expert’ regarding the broken rib but don’t hesitate to ask for further explanation or investigations if you’re not sure. 
    I am older than you and had a different brand of breast cancer (oestrogen positive, HER2 negative) but a friend of mine had cancer similar to yours when considerably younger than me. She had chemo, Herceptin, surgery and radiotherapy. That was around 15 years ago (possibly more) and she’s still fine, no recurrence. There are positive stories out there but not always easy to find them as those that are fine are less likely to be posting here! 
    Sending love and a big virtual hug, HFxx

    HappyFeet1 xx
    Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. – Hopi