Hello All and thanks to Steph for suggesting I log in today. I'm afraid this is going to be a bit of a moan.
I had surgery, a lumpectomy and node clearance back before Christmas. Lumpectomy went well. After one cycle of chemotherapy, I ended up spending a week as an inpatient on very strong IV antibiotics and the healing wound in my armpit stopped healing and started leaking. That went on for months. It's stopped now but because it gave me an open wound, radiotherapy wasn't advised. I had another separate week-long inpatient stay because I got a breast abscess.
I did have five Herceptin injections, three weeks apart, but they were stopped when a heart ultrasound wasn't conclusive because of the wound dressing and leakage. I am going to go back to my cancer nurse, who is wonderful, and ask her where we go from here, but I just feel tired and scared and worried all the time that the cancer is going to come back. Don't know how to deal with this fear.
I keep busy, I have a supportive family and friends - although my kids live a long way away - but it's been a hell of a year and now I feel I'm sinking into a prolonged low. Sorry, I know it's only me who can get me out of this but I just wanted to offload a bit.
Hi Strand,
I had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed a few months ago, had radiotherapy and now awaiting some more test results. I think it’s perfectly normal to feel the way you do as you’ve been through so much, but let me tell you, you are a very brave lady and stronger then you think.
You have made the first big step by finding the Macmillan site, also do visit your nearest Macmillan centre, a list is on here, or ring them on 0808 808 0000, they are superbly helpful and give you lots of great info, do walks, talks, help with benefits, bills, open 10-4 Mon-Fri for coffee and chat and lots more. I also go for a short walk every day (British weather permitting) and do a daily diary, this is mega helpful, as it gets everything off your chest and out of your system. It is important during the day to keep yourself occupied, hobbies, interests etc., it stops you from dwelling on what is going on. You may also find it beneficial to listen to a meditation podcast, they really help you to relax especially when you are trying to get to sleep. I use one called ‘Go Gently’ by Christine Elizabeth Smith, it does a lot for me. Whatever you do, do not visit Dr Google as there is so much conflicting information, your head will spin and it will stress you out, listen to your medical team and contact your breast cancer nurse and ask her as many questions as you like, mine still contact me regularly - also, you get great support on here.
I know it’s hard sometimes, but try and keep as positive as you possibly can, have positive people around you and dump the negativity, above all, be kind to yourself - I promise you, you will get through this. You are never alone and can always come and chat to us shower in here.
I’m sending loads of love and big hugs to you.
Here’s to the Booby Brigade 
