Sudden sadness

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I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year, and deemed cancer free this year after surgery.  I'm on preventative Tamoxifen now which may be relevant to my emotions.

I don't know what triggered it but my mental health has gone back a bit.  For some reason, I am replaying old mistakes made in life in my head and re-hearing negative comments people made to me which years ago I thought I'd dismissed/dealt with ?In retrospect I think I locked them away as as the time I didn't want to deal with them).  I actually feel exasperated with myself but it's so hard to stop looking back.  I wonder if I'm having a delayed reaction to everything?

  • Hi, I think it's such a lot to go through and sometimes once treatment is over you think you can get on with your life but then, like you say your mental health makes it difficult.  I also had breast cancer, surgery and radiotherapy, have done a year on Tamoxifen and struggling with mental health now.  Have you had any counselling? 

  • I had a mastectomy a year ago, fallowed by chemo and radioteraphy now on Abemaciclib and feeling depressed. As soon as someone asks 'how are you?' I burst into tears. I was wondering if this is the side effect or the journey I have been. Mentally, physically feeling exhausted.

  • Hi yes I had counselling through work at the time but that was more like a nice chat with a friend as I was off work, I had support, I could concentrate upon getting better.  As soon as I told everyone (who knew) about them finding no trace of cancer, this kind of dried up.

    I got absurdly upset the other day when I read about a netball club for ladies being set up locally as I'd love to try it again but I can't risk a ball hitting my chest (Left breast mastectomy and temporary implant - I'm still in limbo re leaving it or further reconstruction).  I'm struggling not to brood on losing my breast as it has saved my life but this sort of thing hits me hard as it's like :" Oh that sounds fun", and "it's probably not a good idea".  I'm not ungrateful really.  I feel like I'm leaking emotions and memories all over the place and trying to make sense of it all.

  • That's a shame about the netball, maybe reach out to friends and family and tell them how you are feeling, there is also a support line with Mcmillan.  I tell friends and family when I'm struggling as otherwise they think it's all dealt with, I am waiting for results of CT scan at the moment which is hard. Did you do the moving forward course?  

  • No, I would like to do one though.  Must look into that....Ironically, I've just heard about a rounders team starting up locally.  I never was sporty but now I darent play ball sports, they're all over the place Sweat smile.

  • I wonder if there is some sort of protective body armour you could wear to do sportsThinking Hopefully you will find a sport that isn't so risky to try Blush

  • I just googled protective sports equipment and found a chest guard in a bra on Amazon, but guess might not be suitable after mastectomy, might be worth having a look though

  • I think that there is some kind of chestguard, like a cricket box.  I will look into it Smiley