Husband says he is no longer attracted to me

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Hi Everyone

this is my first post so bear with me l am now on my third time having breast cancer last time was 17 years ago so it’s come as a bolt from the blue all over again l have had chemo last summer which brought on early onset osteoporosis and radiotherapy in December my tumours are stable meantime but l will have ongoing treatment and it’s all about quality of life now . This morning my husband of 23 years tells me he is no longer attracted to me as l was asking him why he doesn’t want to be intimate with me and it seems like he doesn’t even want to touch me before last years diagnosis intimacy was not a problem he is 10 years younger but we have not experienced this before. He said it is to do with having to the caring l have needed we both have busy life’s and run two businesses l feel devastated as it’s been really tough going and l am starting to feel much better and now l feel like my world is collasping again and l might fall into a crumpled heep. If there is any advice anyone with similar experiences or words of wisdom that might help me please reply.

  • Hi,  We all know that a diagnosis and living with cancer can be a very scary place to be. I believe it is the same for our partners who not only experience the loss of control but also a feeling of helplessness as they  watch their loved ones go through difficult treatments . Our lives and those of our partners have changed and it can take time to get used to the new normal . I have been on both sides  of this coin, nursed a husband through his diagnoses and then years later I get breast cancer. For me there were times of loneliness and sadness on both sides of the coin…….I have no words of wisdom apart from giving it time , sending you warm hugs x 

  • Thanks Detchen for your kind words and taking the time to reply to me like you say it affects both of us and he has spent a lot of his energy looking after me and the last time l had cancer it strengthened our relationship not weakened it so just feeling deflated at the moment