Loss of interest in things

Oh how I feel for you but this is not unique. I would suggest you try to find a group locally if there is one.  If not how about advertising locally to do a one off coffee morning (or meet somewhere) other people who are going through BC in your area?  It will not only keep you occupied but you’ll be hugely surprised how many others need that social connection. Also do speak to macmillan or your GP about his you feel. I really wish you peace of mind and am sending best wishes xxx

Thank you so much xxx

Hi Asa26  sorry to hear you’re feeling like this but I can relate. I’ve found it hard to move on once the treatment all finished. I told my BCN and she referred me for MacMillan counselling which I have been having and it’s really been helping. It’s something that all cancer patients are entitled to so I would give this a try. 
good luck and I hope you manage to enjoy life again 

Hi Asa26,

So sorry to read that you’re feeling like this & really wish I had some wise words but all I can say is…me too! If knowing you’re not alone helps, then know that you are not alone & I’m sending you a big virtual hug.
Today I’m on here reading people’s stories just to feel connected in some way. How sad is that. To get through all that we get through makes me feel unappreciative of this ‘new me’ that I am lucky to have. Without wanting to sound flippant, quite like the new hair, quite like the little bit of weight loss, mostly (mostly!) come to terms with the last eighteen months but really don’t recognise this inability to engage or get absorbed meaningfully.

I’ve always been quite a passionate, enthusiastic dreamer but a year on from the end of chemo &, like you, I am really struggling to enjoy everyday stuff. I think for me it’s less a direct fear of the cancer returning & more a subconscious reluctance to feel interested or excited, or just know what I like in case it all comes tumbling down again. 
I sort of know I need to get out more & get busy & I’ve never had any troubling chatting away to anyone - meet some really interesting, funny people on the dog walks. But even when I’m joining in or, like you said, watching something I’ve really enjoyed in the past for example, I just don’t feel properly connected (& then I feel bad ‘cause I feel like I don’t really care).

Thanks so much for starting this thread & sharing your struggle. Wish I could wave a magic wand, but mine’s really wilty & lacking sparkle at the moment. 

Hugs,

Jo xx

Hi Jo,

Thank you for sharing. I still feel unable to engage and am in therapy and working with a psychiatrist. I split from my husband just over 6 months before I was diagnosed and we tried to make it work again when I had surgery but it didn't. I can't believe I'm in this situation and am struggling. Thank you for sharing as it helps to know I'm not alone.

Hugs back,

Ann

Hi Asa, like others wish I could offer a way out, but know you are not alone. finished radio the 12th and just feel much like you do.

Hope therapy helps hugs

I was the same. Chemo finished for me Dec 2021 and radiotherapy Feb 2022. At first I could feel myself getting stronger which gave me a boost mentally but then seemed to hit a plateau and felt very much like you described. I think this is maybe a phase that we pass through as we come to terms with the trauma of it all. I feel like I’ve moved through that stage now and have started living again. Hope you feel better soon x

thank you Gilliebean for the emotional ladder ️ to help see a way out 

Dearest Asa26 , BB3 and Djct 

I am a few years further down the line and wonder if any of my thoughts might help.....

First you have to remember what you have gone though and are going though - this maybe the biggest and worst experience of your life! Something that 'no one' else will ever understand - they can say they are sorry for you, or give you various words of how lucky you are with how treatments are these days, etc, etc - yet they really have no idea of how it feels 'hearing that word and it relates to you' - from that moment on.....

You have changed! Your life has changed! The person you was has gone - gone in an instant! - no one can help you with your thoughts, no one knows how it feels - literally sitting there not hearing much more than that word. Your world has now changed and you can have as many family and friends around you - but they just don't know how you feel (unless they have heard 'that' word for themselves - these people will understand, still not in the same way as you feel - but they do understand).

From then its the worry of waiting, having tests, waiting for results, waiting on treatment plans (this seems a god send - finally something is moving forward) - then there is the treatment - the rollercoaster of a ride that has set off with you on it - never wanting the ride and certainly not buying the ticket, so many ups and downs - thankfully the view of the finish is now always getting closer.

Treatment finishes ..... your mind is still full - now you start to take it all in .... you still aren't the person you once were 'she has gone' and now without knowing you are doing some kind of grieving for this lovely person you once were.... you didn't get time to prepare, to say goodbye - she just went as soon as that 'C' word was said.

Moving on you approach the 'first year anniversary' - building up to this date you think you are going to be feel better, different somehow, after all its an anniversary - we are use to anniversary being happy times - so we think it will feel like this ..... the anniversary comes and its not really a happy time at all, in fact its completly the opposite - everything is coming back to you - now you are recalling what you have gone though .... and all the time never really giving the 'new girl' that you are any love or kindness - never really letting her know how well she as done - that now with time she can get herself together, never being the girl she was - but a new girl that sees life in a different way - maybe it really is in a better way - we have been given the chance to see how precious life is, how not to worry about the silly things - but first we have to grieve the person we was.....

I think this is were you are 'you are grieving the old you' - you need time and you need to find a way to be kind to yourself - it is 'very early days' - you need to find a way each day to give yourself some kind of praise for how far YOU have come in such a short time.

I hope this helps, I certain don't want to offend anyone - I do feel we all need to see how much we have or are going though.

Sending love and hugs to everyone and remember - you are not alone - so many on here understand when even people, family close to us have no idea.

If any of you have trouble sleeping - look out for the AWAKE thread (I'll attach a link) - most of us go there day or night either for a chat, a cry, a laugh, to share what's going on and of course if anyone has any worries or questions - there is someone always dropping in and out that will try to help. ... Remember your feelings are 'normal' there is no set pattern for this - its one day at a time xxxx

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/breast-cancer-forum/f/general/128753/awake/1973520

Hope link works xxx 

Owww yes and I forgot there is an 'online' 9 page document called:-

"After the Treatment Finishes - Then What? by Dr. Peter Harvey"  this makes interesting reading.

Here is a link to it, save it if you like, read it, print it out and have a read at a time to suit - it might be of help.

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf