Hi has anyone lost friends through this …people that you thought were really close to you and would always be there and then have just disappeared when things get real !
Yes this is life ,I told friends which i thought were close and they vanished,sad really but its there loss and every time i have to drive past there house i am now really glad.kind regards
Not really ‘lost’ friends but there’s a fine line between their initial sympathies and then them fed up of asking! You also have to bear in mind that some people are so far removed from your ‘ailment’ that they can’t grasp your feelings. They may, sad to say, also be bored with the topic, AND, we have changed! Maybe less outgoing, lost our chirpiness and seem to them to be gloomy?! It’s a tough balancing act and you really do have to wear a mask at times. I wish you well xxx
I was surprised how ' friends' reacted. When we needed their help or company but at slightly different times of day to before bc, they couldn't change a routine. I know this might be difficult if we were younger, but we were all retired.
The other surprise were the previous acquaintances who took the time to regularly message, pop over for short visits even though they lived some distance and brought the most acceptible treats like perfume free soaps or scented candles or hand cream. Yes, you certainly discover who your real friends are!
I agree! I had loads of messages/flowers/gifts/wine!! (They know me well!!), etc when I was first diagnosed altho didn’t tell anyone for first 4 months (daughter gave birth on the day of my bone scan, same hospital so I didn’t want her to know for months. My friends are still around but I don’t talk C to them as I’ve joined a fab C group where we can discuss (or not) and everyone totally ‘gets it!’
This experience has shown me who I can rely on in tough times. I told people who i thought were close friends about my diagnosis initially. There were many offers of "help" but it soon became apparent that what that meant was it was down to me to ask but in reality there was little we needed.
What I appreciated most was people messaging to see how I was. It surprised and saddened me who did this and who didn't. A very select few did and it wasn't who I expected. In fact my hubby's friends checked up on me, admittedly via him, more than most of my "friends".
