6 months since mastectomy

Hi MissMolly

What you are feeling is perfectly normal and things will get better with time.  There's a paper written by a Dr Peter Harvey called "After the treatment finishes - what? which sums up perfectly the aftermath of treatment.  It's well worth a read, I've read it myself and have others on this site and we found it very informative.  Here's the link to it: After the Treatment Finishes - Then What? (workingwithcancer.co.uk).

Hope you find it useful.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Thank you so much for this. It made me cry, but it also made so much sense to do. Appreciate you taking the time to share.X

Hi Miss Molly. 

I think what you're feeling is normal. I'm starting to feel the same. I am 37, was diagnosed in the summer, 6 rounds of Chemo, right side masectomy and silicone implant on February 22nd of this year. Now on herceptin injections, every 3 weeks - I have 11 left. I was due to start taking Tamoxifen yesterday but couldn't bring myself to take it. Forced it back this morning when I got up.

I have always been a very lively, energetic positive (but realistic) person. When I was diagnosed I was floored but grateful I caught it very early (Stage 1A, chemo was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, losing my hair was shit but I would say I 'sailed through it', no bad side effects. Had a complete response to chemo, woohoo, microcalcifacations remaining, masectomy required, oh no. My surgery went really well and I am genuinely very happy with my implant. Throughout the entire time, I haven't felt sick. I wear a wig going out and obviously my friends and family know it's a wig but a stranger would never know.it was important to me that I could go out looking 'normal' because I'm very social and active, the pity stares would have killed me and I wouldn't have been able to live my life under that spotlight.

I am now disease free. This is obviously fantastic news but I feel that it's a never ending story. 11 more herceptin injections and Tamoxifen. I want to close the door and go back to before. But can't. I was scared to take the tamoxifen because I'm a bit worried the side effects will be hard on me and I will finally start to feel sick. I am very scared that taking tamoxifen is going to send me from feeling great to felling sick. I am obviously very grateful at all the good results I've got but I'm also starting to feel a bit resentful about having to take this medication. Then I feel guilty because I know other people have it a lot worse than me. I finished chemo on Jan 25th and my hair is probably 1.5cm long, I find myself getting impatient about that as well. I want my hair back NOW. This is a new feeling for me.

I think we have been through a lot and processing everything takes time. We all want our old life back but I don't think we will ever have that. We will always love with what we went through and will have to take meds / do tests forever. I do think that it will get better for us, we will adapt and just keep moving forward. It doesn't mean we have to like it though. I hope you're feeling better and that your energy levels improve soon. Sending you love. 

Hi, thank you so much for responding to me I am sorry it’s taken me so long to reply back. It is a tough time. And you’re right I don’t think we will ever have our old lives back. It feels as though it’s life before breast cancer and life since breast cancer. And yes I understand the guilt when I read about other people who have had it so much worse than me

Things will get better, some days are better than others. But I think it will be a new better. I hope everything goes well for you and I hope your hair is now growing back. Your words really help me and thank you for that. Sending love

I have applied to do the Moving on Course rune by breast cancer now.  Mt be worth seeing if there is face to face course near you.  Your BCN should know about them. 

Thanks for that. I have a phone appointment tomorrow so will ask.