Feeling Down

Really sorry you’re feeling so awful.  I’m not on chemo, so can’t offer any experience of that to help, but please don’t beat yourself up over how you feel, I think everyone has some down days at some point whatever our own journey is. 

I don’t know if it would help with your claggy mouth but some medicine I’m on for something else gives me a dry mouth and I keep a fizzy drink next to the bed to sip if I wake up. Still drinks just don’t have the same effect. 

Hello KMT. So sorry to hear that you’re feeling so down. That is probably because you are not sleeping. Have you tried calling your breast care nurse or doctor or MacMillan for advice about your mouth and perhaps about your lack of sleep. I know from personal experience that lack of sleep makes me cranky and easily upset. On another note you have come to the right place because there are a lot of amazing people here who can offer some advice and just being there to talk to without judgement. 
I hope that you’ll get some advice soon that will make you feel better. You will have some good days too, that’s me saying after a week of vomiting and nausea after my first round of chemo. I have started loosing some hair too. I will have my second round next week and I am not looking forward to the side effects either. But I think that every passing day leads to the end of chemo. 
Take care and sending a hug and prayers.

Hi KMT,

I was the same. I was fine after my first surgery but there's something about starting  chemo that brings it home to you just what a life changing.experience a breast cancer diagnosis can be. 

Roseonthehill is right about the sleeping. If you have been given steroids during and just after the chemo, they make you very emotional too. Try to rest as much as possible and nap during the day. 

The first session is really scary as you don't know what to expect or what side effects you might have. Hang in there, you'll get through it and keep checking the forum it's been a life saver for me over the last 18 months. Take care. Xx

Chemo is indeed a tough gig and as stated brings it home to you what cancer is/does. However on a plus side, not everyone feels rubbish with chemo treatment. My friend sailed through hers and couldn’t understand why I had so many after effects compared to her! The positive is that the bad medicine is making us well in the long run.  As long as you’re with a good group at chemo that you can chat with, compare notes or just talk about the weather, it all helps. Also I would say the chemo staff are the BEST in the hospital and totally ‘get’ what you’re experiencing. Time will fly and you’ll look back and have forgotten most of it! Onwards and upwards! Grit those teeth and thank God we have a country of free treatment! With you all the way! Xx

Just noticed your post and had to smile when you said you want to sit and cry for no real reason!  You are doing so well....I didn't have chemo but I often cried...and still do.  Be kind to yourself you're going through a lot and doing just great....Best wishes

Hi KMT,

Sorry to hear that you're finding this so tough. I have had two rounds of chemo so far and both times found that days 5 to 8 were the most difficult. After that it most definitely got better, although I didn't feel like it was going to until it did.

I have kept a record of how I felt each day and when I looked back I realised that I had had way more good days than bad. I'm not surprised you have cried a lot, your body is going through a really tough time, but it really will get better, I promise. Rest as much as you can. I thought I'd be able to beat the side effects but actually I couldn't and in the second cycle decided it was much easier on my body (and mind) to give in to the tiredness and take naps, especially over the first week.  Once I felt like I didn't need a nap anymore, I knew I was coming out the other side of the tough days. 

Definitely don't hesitate to call your Breast Care Nurse or your Acute Oncology Team for advice. They are used to people needing a bit of support and will certainly be able to help you with the mouth situation. 

Be kind to yourself. You can do this. 

Much love. XXX 

Hi KMT, as others have said, try to be kind to yourself. Chemo is the hardest thing I have ever been through, and 18 weeks seemed never ending I know. Personally I found days 4/5 to be the most difficult and then it got better though the weird tasting mouth I can relate to and was for me one of the side effects I found particularly difficult to deal with. Pineapple juice was recommended to me, and I also found cucumber to be tolerable.

I blogged throughout my treatment as it helped me to write things down, but this one, on chemo, might be useful for you. Best wishes 

Chemo blog link