Hello to you all, and good luck with your journies!
Sorry I did put spaces between my paragraphs, but even editing this did nothing either!
Anyway... I had DIEP surgery 4 weeks ago, and I'm currently awaiting further unknown treatment.
However, are management allowed to mither you whilst you're on sick leave? I saw on my work infonet they can do with reason, but I think my work are taking the mick.
My manager said she is currently between a rock and a hard place, and is following orders from her managers. She said that all long term sickness is discussed in management meetings, and in the beginning she couldn't answer questions about me because we hadn't spoken. She then wanted to call me weekly which can last for upto an hour at a time as she then sometimes drifts off talking about her family, but I didn't want to speak so often about it (draining!) along with having other responsibilities (children, etc...) so I asked if it could be every 3-4 weeks instead.
We last spoke about 5 weeks ago and she gave me 5 days to fill in a Disability Special Leave application. This took me 3 hours to complete as I had to attach all my appointments n letters saying what they did, my sick notes, OH report and how this is all affecting me. They wanted to know if I was fit to still work inbetween appointments, to determine if it would be a normal sickness or if I would be covered under disability. This was to be looked at by the most senior admin manager. My manager said it was really good and from the heart - believe me, she would tell me what was wrong if she didn't think so.
However... I was still working for 2 months after my diagnosis, whilst attending appointments that were coming out of my ears. As you know one of the side effects of cancer is tiredness, and so I was starting to flag and the hospital signed me off work shocked to hear that I was still working in general anyway. Post surgery one of the side effects is again tiredness, and even walking up the stairs can leave me breathless.
Upon last speaking with my manager, we pencilled in and were supposed to be talking yesterday to let her know how I am, where I'm upto, etc... but she e-mailed me asking to defer it until today. I thought this was going to be a welfare check but she said there's more work to do with the form, which she will then take into her meeting with the manager above hers.
I've had enough now and can't take any more. I don't want to talk to work about this any longer, as it's making me more depressed then what I already am. I don't know if I need it yet but what if I do indeed need chemotherapy, am I supposed to still keep with updates every so often whilst vomiting due to the treatment? I'm supposed to be resting and recouperating following my surgery, whilst trying to take on board my diagnosis mentally and physically: I've been medically signed off work for a reason.
Not seen my consultant yet so I know nothing more than what was originally on the application. I can only tell them what I went through and how I feel, but can't be bothered as it feels a little bit like harassment now.
My mum said not to answer the call. My manager wanted to call at 10am but I asked her to call about 11am / 12 noon instead, as I'm just exhausted most mornings. Sometimes I find it hard to go to sleep like now and it's after 2am!
I've e-mailed one of the Union reps so I'll just await his reply, from picking up my e-mail later this morning. I was just wondering if anybody has had any similar experience please?
Are you in public sector? If so involve union. I had a make boss who couldn't deal with an6 sickness female related . He knew I was awaiting results from biopsy as I went sick biopsy day. I rang him a week later with results but I got upset and ended call. I then emailed him giving my mobile number but he didn't ring me once in 5 months. I emailed him once a month ish. Contrast with a colleague with female boss - we were in same office. She rang her weekly for update and my colleague found it so draining. She said she wished she ignored calls.
Any cancer patient is covered by disability discrimination act so they should make reasonable adjustments for you around the constant contact. Email your boss, cc HR and tell them you are medically signed off to x period and you find the constant calls, form filling, tasking cancer etc upsetting and stressful and would prefer they email you and you will keep them upto date regarding your medical professional opinion on when you will be fit to return to work and to work out a phased return to work.
Yes I'm I the public sector, and yes I'm.in the Union: I await a reply from 1 of the reps when they log on some time this morning.
My manager isn't really a fan of e-mails in this situations like this, and will often reach for the call option.
A phased return will be done regardless, when I'm fit to return to work whenever that will be treatment pending.
I've told her I struggle in the mornings which I do - just woke up with my oldest 2 to assist them before my dad takes them to school, so if I e-mail now she'll use that against me but I'll be going back to sleep. I will do as you said though, and maybe cc the Union rep also x
No worries - it was an interesting read, thank you.
Here is an extract from the Union rep's reply...
An informal review after 14 consecutive calendar days of sickness absence and, as a minimum,every month thereafter;
A Formal Long term Absence Review Meeting after 28 consecutive calendar days, another when the sickness absence has lasted 3 months, and as a minimum, at least every quarter thereafter. There is no need to hold an informal review in a month where a formal attendance review meeting is scheduled.
He also stated that if I wanted to he could listen in on future conversations, so that it would deter her from talking about unnecessary matters and prolonging the conversation.
To be fair she batted off the 28 day meeting that she said HR were pushing to do, as she said she didn't think it was appropriate given the circumstances/nature of why I was off. She said though that in the future if they request another one, she would like me to attend via Teams so that I can tell them myself what I'm going through and not just reading her typed up notes from a telephone conversation.
I just need to enquire about if I still have to engage in filling in forms and whatever else they want me to do, etc...
She didn't call me yesterday, but I know she'll turn it round when she next gets in contact saying that I could have indeed tried to speak with her instead at some point. Don't want to speak to her full stop, let alone call her when she said she'll call me but I'll see how it goes...
By the way I've been trying to like each of your replies, but to no avail x
Hi FlowerBomb , will reply properly later as am getting a train soon but I’m furious on your behalf! I was public sector (school), thought I’d be off for a couple of weeks after lumpectomy and node sampling, ended up off sick for 4 months, couldn’t imagine going back sooner. No phone calls from work! Can’t believe you’ve been struggling to work all this time. Sending love and a big virtual hug, HFxx
HappyFeet1 xx
Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. – Hopi
Definitely involve union rep in your calls, at least then they’ll be business like and brief and on record. They’ll know your rights and stand up for them, cutting any nonsense or emotional blackmail out.
My manager is very self confessed @n@l, so she'll be doing things to the latter and beyond.
I worked for 2 months after diagnosis as I felt fine, needed a distraction from the C word and I knew it would look better / be in my favour if I was attending appointments and still working as they couldn't say I hadn't tried even with such a massive cloud over my head x
Yes involving them in the calls seems the way to go - I hadn't even thought of that initially, or any of the other factors you stated too.
I dunno... my mum was like what if I was lying in a hospital bed for months on end - would they expect to still call me then? She said there's not much difference as I'm home sick - ugh, oh I really just don't know x
If your manager wants to play by the book, then she must accept your right to have your union rep involved. This diagnosis and everything it entails is difficult enough without stressing about work. Surely if you’re signed off, you’re signed off? Makes my blood boil, seems like no empathy at all.
