A year on. Struggling to face the future

Dear SueGT, my heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I do suggest you seek some form of counselling.  My coping strategies are to compartmentalise each thing that weighs heavy and deal with them individually. Confide in your friends and really talk to them. Speak to breast care nurses, they’re there to help but also contact macmillan navigators to see if there’s any other help out there. I really hope you find some solace in due course. Sending v best wishes and sincere hopes that 2023 is a better year for you xxxx 

Hi SueGT , sorry you are feeling so low. I think it’s very normal after all you’ve been through. Good advice from  . Also have you read this article, I’ve found it useful over the years. 

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf 

There are no answers as such in it but I think it makes very useful points. Apologies if you know it already. 
I’m 63 but did retire earlier than planned, was a special needs teacher, loved the job but simply couldn’t cope with it alongside the fatigue and brain fog from Anastrozole. So was fortunate to get ill health retirement at 61, had planned originally to work full time up to 62 at least then part time for a few more years. But I was lucky in that although it’s made me worse off financially, it was doable. 
Sending you love and a big virtual hug, HFxxxx

Hi sue gr

My heart goes out to you. I understand, in brief, masectomy, lymphodema. I thought after the ops two of them, I could get back to my old self. How very wrong  i was. The emotional side of all of this is unbelievable. Eventually I have come to terms with the fact that this is a second chance, I am a new me. I cannot do what I did before. I sought  help from a counsellor and she told me I had cancer fatigue, never heard of it till then. I cried my eyes out. She understood, it was not just me. She helped me to 're arrange my life so that I could cope. I fought hard to be allowed to go 4 days a week 2 at home 2 in the office, which has made it possible to carry on.

Like you I am in my sixties, I cannot afford to retire, I am just about managing on 4 days a week. I always think that my friends are now fed up and bored with my continued problems. I try and answer 'yep I am fine even when I am not.

I am putting this here in the hope you can take something from it, I was at rock bottom,  could not see a way forward. My counsellor helped. Call the Macmillan help line I did, on my first call i sobbed for at least 5 mins before I said anything. It does help.

Will it come back, is it still there? I think we all panic over this at some time there is no easy answer. Try and not to think about it, easy to say not always easy to do. Being worn out makes me blow things out of proportion not think ratio ally. That is cancer fatigue, now I know that I can stop myself goo g to z straight away. I am not saying it's easy cos it is not.

Just remember tiredness is hard to rise above, rest as much as you can. If you have lots to do, just do what you can manage.

YOU MUST COME FIRST

I don't know if the above rambling has helped at all. We are all here for you, message we will be here to support you.

Bug hugs helen

I am not replying from a cancer perspective but I have another medical issue which will continue for the rest of my life. This means daily medication, daily symptoms and difficulties around employment. What is helpful for me is not looking at what my life looks at from the outside. I focus on all I have achieved since my diagnosis. All the times I have tried. All the changes I have made despite my illness. I focus on these things and give myself goals that are meaningful for me. I find this way I never lose. I think it’s at these very difficult times that we see that the normal trappings of life actually aren’t what life is about. I empathise with the no money thing - I haven’t got any either. Is there something you could do online that you could make money from? There are lots of podcasts which may help. Thinking of you x