Pregnant and scared

I noticed no one has responded to your questions and I'm sorry. Please don't think we are ignoring you but your situation is quite unusual and I don't think many of us have a shared experience of this. However, anytime you need to talk things over, we are here to listen( virtually!) We can certainly empathise with your fears of the unknown. Almost everyone who posts here has found themselves in need of support in whatever circumstances they were diagnosed. Most of us have found that only someone who has been diagnosed , can truly understand how the mind goes around and around in circles at this time.

There is also much practical advice once treatment starts. Ask if you need anything explained about the general treatment. I know what you've asked is very specific and relevant to you. My advice now is that you must talk again to your BCN and oncologist. Write a list of the things you need reassurance for and don't stop pestering until they have time to take you through everything they are planning and you feel you have some answers.

I'm sorry to be so vague but I'm 70 years old this year and although my cancer has been clear 7 years, I was 62 when diagnosed so I am not the person with your answers.

I can however send you a big virtual hug. I know you are worried but I think you must trust your medical team. They won't let you do anything that will endanger your baby or your own life, I'm sure. 

I hope all goes well for you. Keep posting as you need. You may get responses quicker if post on the Awake thread , people who will be very happy to be there for you although perhaps, like me, won't have the answers you are searching for. Take care. Love Karen

Hi, I too am older (aged 60), but I tried to view your post from a mother’s point of view. I have read other posts on Breast Cancer Now from younger mums, a few were also pregnant at the time. Perhaps you could see if posting there might help? With respect to the mastectomy, is the anaesthetic the issue for you? If so, then perhaps you could have a chat with an anaesthetist. Whilst you are in a less common situation, you will not be the only pregnant lady who has had to have a general anaesthetic (for any surgery). They might be able to help with your very understandable anxiety.

a big hug to you

I’m not in the same situation as you (52) but I have had to have  mastectomy and cannot have reconstruction for 18 months after radiotherapy which is due to start at the end of November.   The mastectomy itself really isn’t that bad/painful (bearing in mind we’ve given birth!) as there are not that many nerves.  I also had an axillary clearance and that was more difficult.  You get a foam boob to pop in your bra or crop top once you are up and about and then a more substantial weighted one once you’ve healed.  You are entitled to ask for a replacement if you lose weight - I’m imagining your shape will change once you finish breastfeeding/birth hormony stuff so please know you can ask for this.  Some people find these heavy but I find it helps keep my back straight.  I am having to think about how I dress - I’m big busted and a v shape neck is my “go to” and that needs a bit of care but there are lots of hints and tips online.  I can totally see a few months on how I can get through this long period before I can be made to look more normal, if that helps.  

Yes, bless you, you are in a real difficult situation  with one little and one on the way but I’m sure the staff know that they are doing for both you and the little one you will be meeting in a few months.  I do hope that everything goes well for you - and let us know how you go and when your little one arrives.  

Hello Twinkletoes,

I'm 62 and therefore not in your situation either, but that doesn't mean I can't empathise.  

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 weeks ago and quite honestly  my fear was tangible. I was waking up during the night drenched in sweat and absolutely terrified. All i wanted was to get the mastectomy done. I felt terribly alone. 

What I've discovered is that I actually couldn't physically or mentally keep up that height of fear.  So, after the operation you will hopefully find the same sense of calm. It hasn't  gone away altogether but it has became more manageable. 

There are so many lovely people that you can talk to and that helped me hugely when I was panicking during the day. Call the charity "Breast Cancer Now" for example. They were so understanding and helped me so much. 

It's very difficult to take in the fact that we're now in this new world but there really is a huge amount of support our there. And so much experience in the NHS  

I wish you the best  

Gwendoline

Hi Twinkletoes, I had to have an operation in my 2nd trimester -although it wasn’t for BC. I was very worried about the effects of anaesthetic on an unborn baby, but I was assured by the surgeon and anaesthetist that they would be monitoring the baby carefully throughout. Everything went well and I had a full term healthy baby later on. Please try not to worry too much, your team will have a plan

Hi Twinkletoes, I had surgery with general anaesthetic during my 2nd trimester, though not for BC. I can understand how worried you must be, but from my experience, your medical team will know what they are doing. I was assured by the anaesthetist that they would be carefully monitoring the baby throughout the procedure. My op went well, and later I had a healthy full term baby. Hope everything goes well for you x

Hi Fridgelicker, I’ve just read your profile. Oh my goodness … you’ve been thrown a couple of massive hand grenades. I am so sorry. How on earth are you getting through each day (no need to answer). And yet you find the headspace to try to reassure another lady. I’m not sure how long ago you wrote your last update … I do hope that you have moved forward and have a manageable treatment plan. X

Ha! You’re right, I have got a lot going on! I had a mastectomy 2 days ago, and feeling good actually, so glad to have the evil boob removed.  They did this first as it’s a quick recovery -I’m hoping to have a hysterectomy asap. I’ve had a CT scan, which showed sarcoma hadn’t spread to bones, and last Fri a 50min MRI with dye to check if spread to bowels etc - still waiting for results. Just want the next op as soon as possible. As everyone here knows, the waiting is the hardest part. Once I’d got over the shock of diagnosis, I seemed to get back to my old self (almost!) I’m an upbeat type of person, which really helps, thanks for asking xx

I'm tagging MamaHas she's just had surgery without immediate reconstruction and she has a young baby so can maybe be of more comfort to you xx

Thanks for the tag Carol!

Hi Twinkletoes82 

Firstly I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you. This I supposed to be such a magical time in your life and this is the last thing you need right now. Although I wasn’t diagnosed while pregnant I was diagnosed when my baby was 5 months old. I felt robbed, I felt like I should be enjoying maternity leave and that me and my baby were robbed of this. Feel free to click on my profile to read my story. I’m going to update it now. Also feel free to message me privately if you want to chat. It’s ok to feel all your feelings. You are of course scared, that’s normal. 

I had a double mastectomy on the 14/09/22 with insertion of chest expanders- my reconstruction is scheduled for 6 months time. Im not completely flat though. There is some treatments that are safe in pregnancy and breast cancer is usually very treatable- I wish you all the best and sending positive thoughts your direction.

Helen