Understanding these feelings

Hi ColinS67 welcome to the forum. Despite how you are feeling, between you both, you do  seem to have put the really essential services into place for this part of the ongoing journey. I really do believe that we are forever changed after a Cancer diagnosis and the person that goes in to the journey isn't who comes out the other end, if that makes sense?.

Please do not beat yourselves up, this is a recognised point in the journey and it has even been written about in an article by a psychologist which you can find online  and print off to read for both of you but particularly for your wife so that she knows that she is not alone in feeling how she does. It is written by Dr Peter Harvey and is entitled  "After the  treatment finishes-then what"?  Have  a read and see what you think.

You yourself need to cut yourself some slack, can you take sick leave or even holidays to give you both a break and do some nice things for you both when you are together. You are doing all that you can and sometimes many things are out-with any of our control which can be very hard with  no easy solution. Be kind to yourself as well. xxx 

Hi Gail

Thank you for your kind, encouraging words and for mentioning the article. I've done just as you suggested, and we have both read it and found it very useful. 

I know my wife is terrified of what this brain scan may show as there is also a history of dementia in her family and she associates her behaviour with that of her late mother so assumes she is the same.

Anastrozole has really messed her up too. For her the menopause was already pretty done and dusted and she got through it so well. But this drug seems to have thrust her back into the middle of it. Hot flushes, low mood, confusion, horrendous joint pain. She wants to stop taking it, but that's probably not a good idea, but also if it's making her so unwell is it worth it?

She's in with her counsellor tomorrow so hopefully she can help.

I'm self employed so can take time off OK, and we have a long weekend already booked at a luxury hotel next month so trying to get her to focus on that.

I'm finding it incredibly difficult to be her rock all the time as its wearing me down and my MH is suffering too.

Thank you again

Colin x

Hi Colin  welcome to the forum and hope you find some help here. i wanted to add do you have a Maggies Centre anywhere near by? I found them most helpful. You or your wife can go there and speak to someone  separately or together  and they are very professional and can help guide you through. They also have classes which your wife may find helpful to attend, ar our local centre there is Quigong and  Nordic walking and creative writing for example. But beat of all they have someone there who will listen and explain anything to you and sometimes it's easier to unload to someone who is not family. Good wishes

Fly