Anyone with a diagnosis and young kids?

Hi, I have a 3yr old and a 5yr old. I'm about to start my 2nd chemo. So far the 3yr old is totally clueless as to what's happening. The 5yr old understands, but forgets.

Having such young kids is double-edged - it's great because they normalise everything. They aren't scared of cancer. They accept things, they adapt and don't change how they treat you. Kids won't pity you, or treat you like you're cancer itself. They also won't remember this next year when it's fixed and gone. It's terrible because they won't give you a break. My 5yr old jumps on the wire in my arm, still wants me to carry her up the stairs the day after chemo, and tells random people on the street mummy's going to go bald ha ha... All i can say to this is:

Tell people and ask for help.

If your little one is at nursery, tell them. They will know you might need emergency cover some days. They will cut you some slack. I'm a solitary creature. Not used to telling people stuff or asking for help. Some surprising people have offered. My next door neighbour, mums at my kids school - I don't want to use them, but it's reassuring to have these numbers in my phone. If she's not in nursery, or play group, i would consider trying to get a few days, at least after chemo. I shoved my 5yr old in after school club every day. Hated doing it, is costing me money i don't have, but she now loves it and it makes life so much easier for the few months of chemo.

Don't know if you will end up on chemo. And everyone is different in how they react. I've only had one EC. I had problems with my red blood cells. First 10 days i felt bad. Next 9 days i felt totally normal. If you end up on Chemo, all i can say is it's scary as hell until you do the first one. Even after having it a bit rough I am relieved i've started.

Take one day at a time.

It makes it easier if you think ' i just have to get through today'. I'm on 6 rounds of Chemo, which is 4 1/2 months all going well. It doesn't seem that long a time. I assume it'll be a tough summer. I'm not looking forward to having a 5yr old bouncing off the walls for 6 weeks. But it seems more manageable if you break it up into sections, the rounds as it were. And just try and do the things you can as best you can. Don't give yourself a hard time worrying about stuff that doesn't matter. I'm just focusing on, next summer im going to take my kid on holiday somewhere great.

If you do have chemo they will try and guess your side effects before they happen. To stop them. If they give you a big bag of anti-sickness pills, take them as instructed. I was certain i was going to be vomiting all over, because i'm just that travel sick/easy to throw up person. I wasn't sick at all. If they give you white blood cell injections take anti-histamines (like loratedine) every day. I got super bad bone pains. You might not, 1 in 5 do. The anti-histamines help if you do, so give it a go the first time. Eat 80-100g of protein a day - sounds bonkers. A chicken breast is about 25g. I just snack on almonds and peanuts all the time. Not sure if it just relates to EC, but drink a ton of water, like 3 litres a day. It flushes it out your system. Also, make sure you have a great thermometer. I have a Braun Thermoscan for my kid. I bought a cheap Braun armpit/ mouth one for me and it was rubbish. You definitely need a reliable thermometer.

People keep telling me to be selfish and think about myself. Apparently, Kylie Minogue came up with that line...You will have the same problem as me, in that your primary concern is your kid. All i can say is, I think kids are really good at this stuff. Much better then us. They are resilent and adaptable. Sure there will be days when you will feel like you've failed, but thats just parenthood in general. The kid won't remember tomorrow. I'm just trying to carry on and do the best i can. My kid loves IKEA (God help me), i can't do that, but i can take her to the park early in the morning.

Hopefully, whatever happens, by Christmas your potentially horrible bits will be over. And life will continue. That's the happy thought I'm fixing on!

fiddlesticks thank you so much for your response. You are right, I think I am more bothered about how she is going to cope with it than me lol! I find out on Friday morning what the plan is all being well. It can't come soon enough. 

My daughter goes to nursery 3 days a week so hoping that will help and I know a handful of my family who know what is going on have already offered to help however they can. 

Can I ask a couple of questions? No worries if you would rather not answer...

1) How did your little ones cope with the hair loss side of things? I know you mentioned them telling people. I am so worried she is going to freak out. I have already decided that I will need to shave it off if I start losing my hair, I don't think I could cope seeing it fall out in clumps really but I am worried that she is going to get really upset as she has only ever known me with long hair. 

2) Did you do anything to avoid your kids while doing chemo to avoid bugs etc? My little one has been an absolute snot bag to put it bluntly since starting nursery and I worry about her making me ill but I can't bear the thought of having to avoid her either. 

I hope your journey is a short but successful one. Thank you for your kind response, it really means the world to me to know I am not alone in this.