Permanently on the verge of tears. Anastrozole or trauma?

Morning Aly

I can't help with your question I'm afraid as I'm going through chemo at the moment with surgery and radiotherapy still to come but I would say it sounds like you are just reacting to the enormous upheaval you have been through you have had to be so strong dealing with this awful cancer and now the end sort of is in sight you don't have to be so strong I know personally I had a scan the other week at the end of 3weeks when I had been in and out of hospital and it had been horrid but I knew scan was probably going to be ok it was good news as that nasty little lump had shrunk but I spent a good half an hour sobbing before had because I couldn't find a clean pair of socks and after the scan cried because I couldn't get a taxi both silly things to cry over and I should have been jumping for joy so maybe some of the emotion your feeling is menopause but maybe some is just your body needing to express the fear anger tiredness that you have had to squash in order to survive treatment I hope your soon back to your positive self sending hugs xxxD

Hi Aly, agree that it’s probably a mix of Anastrozole effects and the enormity of a cancer diagnosis sinking in. I had a similar reaction much later, just over a year post diagnosis. I was struggling at work which I think was Anastrozole induced fatigue and brain fog. I just couldn’t focus and kept forgetting things. On each trip to GP (I was on an extended phased return so needed to see GP regularly) I’d burst into tears and didn’t really know why. I felt very anxious, they kept offering antidepressants but I didn’t feel depressed and didn’t want more drugs. In the end, I was lucky to be able to retire earlier than planned (at 61), and the relief was enormous. I still have ongoing fatigue and some other side effects but will stay on Anastrozole as long as possible to hopefully keep the beast at bay! 
What did help a lot was ear acupuncture at a Maggie’s centre - if there’s one anywhere near you I’d recommend a visit. I’d also have liked counselling but there was a very long waiting list. After the acupuncture I did a zoom mindfulness course with Maggie’s (as the lockdown had started) which was also very helpful. I am guessing you may still be working but should be able to get time off for anything cancer related, hopefully. 
Sending love and a big virtual hug your way, HFxx 

Also I have found this article very helpful and reread it from time to time, still makes me cry but sort of in a good way, if that makes sense? I know you haven’t finished your ‘active’ treatment yet but may still be useful at your stage. Love and hugs, HFxx 

Sorry forgot to post the link

www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/.../After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

I'm on tamoxifen but have to say that since surgery and then rads and been on the drugs for 10 months now, I've become a lot more emotional and anxious. I too don't want more drugs or anti depressants having spent best part of 10 years on them. It took a while to wean myself off them and I wouldn't be able to have the same ones now. I think menopause symptoms, hormones all over the place and as HappyFeet says its may be that its your mind and body catching up with you. This roller-coaster only stops when you are done.

I did the Moving Forward course with Breast Cancer Now which was good but probably did it too soon after finishing treatment. Worth looking at. It was all on zoom though. The Peter Harvey article is good read x

I was the same following treatment although it hit me a few months later. I stayed my positive, optimistic self throughout chemo, op and rads, had a great few months of feeling amazing when recovering and then last Autumn, everything hit me and I felt uncharacteristically low. I was put into a medical menopause as well as taking exemestane, so think everything just caught up with me.

I can still struggle with mood though I am now trying acupuncture and that is helping with anxiety.

I am mostly fine, but I don't have the energy levels I used to and that can get me down sometimes, though I have learned to pace myself and accept the new me.

Cancer is a life changing diagnosis and it is not surprising we don't quite feel like our old selves. I am mostly completely fine, love my life, feel very lucky in so many ways and actually think there are a huge amount of positive changes that have been a direct result of cancer (don't sweat the little things!). But my world has shifted on its axis and the old me is never coming back. In a way, I think there is a grieving process we have to go through. 

Thank you all - the Peter Harvey article is excellent - ideally I would send it to my boss but I think it’s too long to expect her to read! I have also asked for counselling through the MacMillan BUPA scheme and have a call booked next week. I also plucked up the courage to tell work I didn’t think I would be ready to return on 4/7 as planned and that has helped. It’s just been such a shock to suddenly feel so emotional. Despite having great family and friends I have also felt incredibly isolated and lonely but like Happy Feet - I don’t feel depressed and really don’t want antidepressants. Just want the old me back but I guess that might be a bit too much to ask!