Feeling Lost and Alone

The Breast cancer for the under-50s forum may have people in your own age group. However, possibly with the exception of the issues surrounding cancer's influence on fertility, people of all ages may be going through the same emotional experiences you are describing. People here have, at times, expressed thoughts regarding being surrounded by loving family and friends yet feeling completely alone and isolated due to the fact that none of their loved ones had any first hand experience of what they were going through, and as a result were not able to fully relate or offer the right support at times. Here on the forum, people do have this first hand experience and although we do not always react in the same way, we know what it's like to go through cancer treatment. Welcome to the forum.

Thanks, I'll have a look.

I'd highy recommend Breast Cancer Now's Someone Like Me service, where you get matched with a volunteer of roughly the same age / diagnosis / background as you but who's a bit further ahead in treatment, recovery etc, and you can just chat on the phone every now and then.

Like any matching service it's hit and miss whether you'll feel on a level with the person you're matched with but for me it was a wonderful, insightful and supportive experience that was much needed in amongst all the weirdness and isolation of breast cancer diagnosis and treament. Here's the link:

breastcancernow.org/.../someone-me

Breat Cancer Now also does online and in person events which are great for meeting other younger women, facing similar diagnoses and treatments.

breastcancernow.org/.../younger-women-together

They were a life-saver for me - literally took me from a place where I'd never known anyone of my age (30s) to have cancer, didn't know anything about breast cancer, to now having a few groups that I can dip in and out of and chat with similar folks.

Thank you

Hiya hope you are feeling a bit better with the responses you have received on here. Maybe some of what your experiencing is that treatment is finished and you don't have to keep that constant focus on the next step. 

I had a mastectomy beginning of April with usuall follow up appointments and I start radiotherapy on the 21st June I think that this is the longest I have gone where I havnt been having treatment, planning for surgery or seeing a doctor for something and it feels a bit strange .

I think once you get your head around the initial diagnosis you just want to get on with the treatment plan but when that's coming to an end there is a feeling of loneliness. Of course I don't want to be having treatment but there's an element of feeling safe whilst it's all going on. I felt the same when chemo ended, I didn't miss it but described it as being in a chemo bubble for 4 months so it's understandably hard to adjust sometimes.

I don't think anyone who hasn't been through this can fully understand, I don't get it and I have lived it for 12 months! Something like this changes everything but look for the positives they are there! Good luck!!! Xx

Hello LavenderSunshine, Sorry to hear you are feeling so alone.  It is more common than you might think to have these feelings no matter what age.  Cancer seems to make us all very vulnerable at times.  I was touched by your comment about being a "Fragment of who you were".  That's brought tears to my Eyes.  I am going through Breast Cancer a 2nd Time.  The only thing I can say is that after the first experience 8 year's ago, I did recover both physically and emotionally.  When you are ready it might be an idea to write down how you feel or speak about your experience maybe with a Counsellor or Support Group,  These experiences in Life do change us and it sounds like you are managing this experience very well. Go gently. K.x