Is it just me !

Hello. I would say no not you. I've finished with treatment too (feel free to read my profile). I'm still struggling  a bit with low days and days when I feel nauseous cos of the tamoxifen. Just when I feel OK I have a rough day of achy armpit and I have fluid retention. I'm trying to move on but feel old before my time and I'm not 50 yet! Luckily no more appointments for me but waiting on first year mammogram due in May. It never used to bother me, the ads on TV but now I can't stand to watch the cancer ones. I'm a bit similar I find it hard to describe how I'm feeling but know it doesn't feel right. I have family issues too not to bore you (parent with Alzheimer's) so that doesn't help. I'm not sure what to say to help but wanted to say that you aren’t on your own x

Hey, i had my treatment last year. I have good days and bad days... ive been referred to speak to a therapist as im finding it hard to process what ive been through. everything happened so quick.  Im still very sore, very itchy skin on my scar.and having a bumpy nipple.  I have scar tissue too, which is painful. My first year mammogramm is July..

I sometimes think of cancer as being locked up with a capricious cellmate. 

My emotional responses are different to yours, but the impact is certainly there and is felt by people around me who give feedback, as well as me being aware of at least some of it but I suspect not yet all, as some of the feedback I have been getting surprised me a little.

Going back to where it all started does indeed bring right up to the surface stuff that by now will have sunk a little towards the bottom, so to speak. Earlier this month I had an appointment with a specialist who works out of the same hospital where I had a really bad experience at some point, and it brought it all back, I felt awful.

Why do they want you to see two oncologists? Also, you mentioned your daughter, and from the way you phrased it I am guessing something long-term is going on with her. You have not shared further and so I am only going to ask one thing that you can ignore if it's too intrusive -- is her condition life threatening?

Hi Greycats One is chemo,one is radio ,Daughters condition is Rett Syndrome 38yrs old.She can see and hear,cant use hands walk or anything just like 18 mth old.The visits i think are worse because you are on your own and it feels like going back to the scene of a crime watching people go into clinic and the unlucky few looking sad .

Hi

I find the moments where I can forget about cancer are few, despite the fact that I am almost a year since diagnosis. Dreading the annual mammogram and attending the breast clinic again. Like Tired Minion, I also can't stand the cancer ads, it's another reminder that I'm part of that "club". I feel I've completely lost my confidence and have just "shut down".

Xx

Hi Eline I find myself drifting off and notice people talking to me but i am not hearing them, you wonder if its the meds or your mental wellbeing 

Hello BWB 

I’m now coming up to three years since my diagnosis…..and to be brutally honest not a day goes by where I don’t think about Cancer.

in the early days of diagnosis, your brain is heightened to everything, Adverts on the Tv or Radio  are Cancer related…you attend more appointments early on, so your around a medical environment. As this awful journey progresses , you’ll attend less appointments, and this overwhelming feeling you have now sort if gets replaced with, “I’m forgotten, nobody cares any more” 

We all cope in different ways, we adjust accordingly ….i at the start wanted to own my cancer out right, and nobody was going to stop that.   
This was partly as my Sister in Law had been diagnosed with lung cancer a month after me. She sadly passed away in December 2020, her passing devastated me and my wife in so many ways……

maybe her terminal diagnosis, made others around us, not ever talk about my Cancer, so like you,

Cancer made me feel totally and utterly alone…the only thing I had that was mine, was Bloody Cancer…

Everyday my friend will be different , some days cancer is the first thought , other days the last thought, some days your going to cry, or shout, feel sad, or hysterical. To this day I can cry at the drop of a hat, and laugh an hour later .

three years on I’m seeing a psychologist, which helps, me come to terms with the fact that other than my wife, and a cancer group I participate in, no one ever talks to me about my Cancer, just a like it never happened. 
Yet I have scars visible and invisible to remind me daily it all happened. 

regards

David

Hi David, your paragraph <Everyday my >sums me up perfectly .  I thought i was going down hill ,maybe this is the new way to look at this and fight this and take a second out and think yes this is the way it is going to be Kind regards

I am exactly the same as you.   Will I ever be me again 

BWB

this last three years I’ve learnt one or two things…..

Take each day as it comes, and try to accept what takes place on that day is just part of this process…

Be kind to yourself, don’t beat yourself up about things. The only way to get through all this is to focus on YOUR well-being 

Take time out for yourself each day, if you get tired rest, if your exhausted sleep, if anxious talk to anyone who will listen …

Don’t be tied by emotions and male Bravado……if you need to cry do so….because believe my bottling it all up is as detrimental to one’s health, as not checking out lumps bumps and bodily changes in general.

Us men are terrible about not discussing health issues that’s why when diagnosis occurs it’s often higher end stuff we are having to deal with. 

I found Gratitude a great way to relieve  my stress and anxiety…It’s heart warming to show thanks towards others. I made a hamper up for my Chemo nurses, with personalised mugs, an array of beverages, biscuits and chocolate.

I reached out and raised awareness about MBC, that literally keeps me focussed. I helped set up  mens cancer group at my local Maggie’s Centre….

I try daily to just live my best life…I don’t use cliche’s like stay Positive…( why would I not try to be positive, it’s blooming stupid when people say, that…keep your chin up…etc…..) 

something I learned in recent months, DONT sweat the small stuff ( completely draining) 

Stay strong pal, Male breast cancer is definitely a Roller coaster Ride, so buckle up and try to smile and complete this monster of a ride the very best way you  can…

regards

D