Feeling Down This Week

Hi .mel28

Firstly what you are feeling is very normal. When we are having treatment we feel that we are in good hands who are doing the best they can - breast cancer itself , like a lot of cancers , doesn’t make you ill so when treatment is finished there is no feeling that you are feeling better, as you felt fine before , so how can you possibly know if things start going wrong again? Life starts to get back to normal but we know it can never be the same, too much has happened to us to ever fully relax. 

My friend was diagnosed a year ago and was misdiagnosed in the type of breast cancer so ended up having the wrong treatment , she was very concerned when she finished , but for her she has made changes to her diet, stopped drinking alcohol and has in effect taken back some control. I was diagnosed 5 1/2 years ago, so in a very different place now, but I took a different approach, my philosophy is not to worry about things we can’t control (and for me I think this is true) but keep on top of what is still happening in the BC world, for example I still often come on this forum. You will find your own way, but it may take some time. When I first finished I felt like I somehow wanted some recognition of the cranpness  that had happened to me, yet on the other hand didn’t want a fuss, it was a trying time for my husband! 

The other thing to bear in mind is that statistics are just that, statistics. Of all the people diagnosed in the Uk with breast cancer, the latest statistics show that approx 15%of women who have a breast cancer diagnosis will die of it at some point, this includes the 5% diagnosed with secondary at the same time as their primary, so in all it is 10%, this will also include people who do not want surgery or medication or any recommended treatment , so the number becomes lower than the 10% for those who take on board their oncologists recommendations. Obviously if you find yourself in that 10% that is not great, but even with women diagnosed with stage 0 or 1 breast cancer some will go on to die of it, no-one unfortunately can tell any of us we are clear, so try not to think too much about statistics as they are a catch all and not a unique diagnosis.

If you search in the search bar across the top Peter Harvey it will take you to an article which discusses these feelings, I know this has helped several women. Breastcancernow also run a course Moving Forward which you might find helpful, details on this page along with other articles https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/facing-breast-cancer/living-beyond-breast-cancer/life-after-breast-cancer-treatment

You are perfectly entitled to mourn your old life, you have been through a diagnosis where you have had to face your own mortality, and that is very hard to overcome at times.

Hope you can start to feel better and heal once you have finished your treatment, but be kind to yourself.

Jo x

I am a week behind you last chemo was this Friday .waiting to hear about radiotherapy dates. Have same or similar diagnosis and surgery. I try to think how much of this journey is now behind me. I too feel anxious about what lies ahead but none of us know how long we are here for. So I am going to try and stay positive and make the best of each day if I can. Fight on I think it will get better as time goes by and although it will never be the same for us we are still here and stronger for what we have gone through although it may not always feel that way. Keep going you are doing so well x

Thank you xx