Overwhelmed by cancer

Hi

I'm sorry that you find yourself here but rest assured you will find so much support from the ladies on this forum. 

Cancer is completely overwhelming - regardless of the stage you are at and i completely understand how depressing it is when you receive bad news. Were you alone when you attended your recent hospital appointment? If you dont mind sharing here, what did they tell you is your prognosis? Have you tried ringing the Macmillan helpline for a chat if you dont feel like you can talk to anyone yet in real life.

You are strong. To have come this far tells me you are an incredible lady. It isnt easy. Hope is sometimes all we have to cling onto. and when you receive bad news from the hospital, it feels like such a burden. 

It is ok to feel not so positive. It is ok to cry. And it is ok to not cry.

Take one step at a time to process your recent hospital news. And when you are ready you may find that you need the support of your boyfriend. 

Be kind to yourself - none of this is easy. xx

Hello Verity

First of all and importantly your diagnosis is so so sad especially as you have 2 young girls to think of and I wish they could find an absolute all clear treatment for any diagnosis of this terrible terrible disease, my heart goes out to you.

Unfortunately I have just been diagnosed for the 2nd time with breast cancer after already been through it once with my right breast but thankfully mine was treatable with surgery and radiotherapy . However I’ve just returned from hospital after being diagnosed with cancer again, this time in my left breast. Just the thought of having to go through it all again is sickening but unlike you for me, at the moment, there is light at the end of the tunnel .

I can only wish that your diagnosis was treatable . God bless you and maybe, just maybe you can prove the diagnosis wrong and fight this villain and come out on top

Kindest regardS

Sheila

Don’t lose heart .spread does not mean you are not treatable you would be amazed at people who were given a prognosis and lived way beyond it . It’s difficult to know what you were told etc and your diagnosis but I too have young children and mine spread to neck etc and told metastatic so treatable but thanks to treatment …long couple years but doable I have so far clear scans so it can work …I am classed as stage four and honestly I am doing fine ..take a breath and ask questions I wish I asked more but at the start of treatment was just getting by ..hope you get the support you need and ask  exactly what diagnosis is ..many people outlive origional diagnosis . Wishing you all the best x

Hi Verity,

I'm.newly diagnosed 7th Feb, told its spread but having lots of tests to see how far etc, please do not give up hope, I have read so many stories of people told they months/weeks/days left and they are still here years later, so please don't ever give up hope.

It's such an overwhelming feeling being told the news I know, I'm only 3 weeks in and it's been a rollercoaster, always here if you want to chat anytime.

I told my family straight away and I think that's been the hardest bit, as like you, I wanted to.keep it to myself but the more people u have that can support you the better.

Sending you lots of love xx

Hi Verity 

Im so sorry you find yourself here . I have been recently diagnosed and feel very overwhelmed by what I’ve been told so I’m not surprised you feel this way and I like you have children so I know where you are coming from 

You been so brave being able to tell us on here , I know it makes it feel more real but we are all here to support you lovely 

If you want to share more of your story there may be others that can identify but if not then we are here for you regardless of what you want to share or not share 

I hope that they are helping you with any pain you have physically because you should not be in pain x

Sending love 

L xx

Veirty; I'm sure there are no words I can say that will give you the comfort or assurance you need. I get why you do not want to tell your boyfriend. When I was diagnosed (albeit a different circumstance), the only person I told was my husband and my daughter and that was only because I had to - I still have not told any of my other family member. I reasoned with myself that it was because I didn't want them constantly asking me if I'm ok; or filling my head with their proposed things to do; to eat etc; but I had one person I spoke to monthly; weekly; hourly; all the time  - at 3am in the morning when everyone was sleeping; whilst I was constantly thinking about this horrible horrible word called CANCER......... If  we were told we had a LUMP I do not think we would be so scared but that word it sends shards or pain; worry; concern and hopelessness through us.

Verity; I know it sounds cliche but I ended up speaking to God; initially; I was angry with him; then very gradually eventually; simply having a conversation the sort of conversation you have with a very trusted friend.  

I pray you get the courage to speak your partner and eventually your family but in the meantime- write down how you feel; the anger; the hurt; the feeling of desperation. You don't have to post or give these notes to anyone but  and I can't say you will be cured but after venting you will feel a little better; I promise.

I will pray for you and your two young girls; write lovely message to put in their lunch packs or next to breakfast; they will love and treasure them and it will lift you to see their eyes light up after reading them.

Let us know how you get on please.....x

I have a little resin Goddess figure and I take her out and just hold her when everything seems too much. I will say a prayer for you; my situation is not as difficult (though who know what might happen down the line), but one thing I will say, I really do hate the talk of fighting cancer. It’s not a moral failing to be overwhelmed by it, emotionally and physically, at times. It’s natural and normal. You’ll find this a supportive community, I’m sure, and I hope you have access to other sources of help. You are obviously holding back a lot of information from people you are close to and that’s understandable, particularly with children, but it sounds as though you need to open up to somebody about what you are going through. Did your hospital put you in touch with any sources of support? If not, you could try Maggies, Cancer Call, or Macmillan, and there are probably others. We are here for you at any time.

Hello Verify. I am familiar with a lot of what you are describing. (When I was first told I had cancer, I was misdiagnosed as stage 4, given a very limited prognosis, to put it mildly, and that was how it stayed for the next 10 or 11 months until they discovered their mistake and re-staged.) Being given news such as you are describing can be a real shock, and it can take a while to even start to digest it.

What we can do to help ourselves varies from person to person. For me, it was focusing on practicalities, preparing for any eventuality, and telling my oncologist that I was going for longevity, whatever it takes.

I am not sure how much feedback you want, how much you are willing to share, and whether or not you are interested in hearing more about other people's experiences, but if you are ok with sharing more information, there is a wealth of good advice on these pages on specific issues, and people here can answer directly to anything you raise, or direct you to any past relevant threads.

Hello Verity, I know that feeling of being scared, overwhelmed and flattened. I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in 1982 in my 20’s and they didn’t hold much hope of me surviving long. Sadly it has recently come back but fortunately Stage 1. My surgeon back then said it was a miracle! Miracles do happen and I am not the only survivor against the odds. Since that diagnosis people around me have passed away of various things so non of us know for sure what the future holds. I realised as time went by that we have to live for the day and make the most of our good days. Prayer also helps and faith and don’t suppress your emotions. Sending you love and huge hugs.