Lonely

Hi Mag123. That person from work does not sound reliable to me. I have had a mastectomy and so have many others here, I would be very surprised if anyone here said, "I was driving straight away after my mastectomy" and not only due to how we feel right after surgery, but also because trying to do so would have been irresponsible, to say the least.

About your husband's attitude. As it happens, in addition to breast cancer I am also dealing with NHL, so I am very much aware of the differences between the two "families" of cancers. NHL is a lifetime marathon, but in its low-grade form is not normally immediately life-threatening, in many cases does not require any treatment for at least a number of years, and is completely different in almost every way I can think of to solid tumour cancers, such as breast cancer. It may be that your husband is a little blind to these differences and possibly expects you to experience breast cancer in the same way he experiences his lymphoma.

As for messages on the forum, that is normal, or the threads would become very bulky just with, "thank you for your kind comment, much appreciated" messages. I normally only respond to messages if I have something to say in addition, and only in rare occasions with the sole intention of letting the other person know I have seen what they wrote. 

Firstly big hugs, 

I feel paranoid too about not fitting in sometimes because I always display a positive outlook and also I've always struggled with social groups.

I honestly believe this journey is a whole rollercoaster of emotions and the whole lost and lonely is very common. 

Could you see about some counseling perhaps and talk through your feelings. I know local to me there is a support group for those who have finished treatment as I think it was recognised that many feel lost and lonely. 

Xx

Hi Mag123, firstly I just want to reassure you that you absolutely fit into this group. There are no judgements re which treatments you did or didn’t have. Yours sounds very similar to mine as I had lumpectomy, radiotherapy and ongoing hormone therapy - Anastrozole - which by the way is a form of chemotherapy because it’s a drug! Please don’t ever feel that your experience is any less or easier than anyone else’s. There are lots of us in a similar position to you and me, but equally lots of others who had other treatments. 
Sending love and a big virtual hug, HFxxx

Hi 

I’m so sorry you feel like that , you absolutely do fit in here 

I’ve been so consumed by my own fear that maybe I haven’t seen your messages and I’m sorry for that  

Keep talking , everyone on here is so lonely and we would never want you to feel that you’re on your own 

love 

L xx

So lovely I meant to say !! X

Mag123 I’ve really enjoyed your contributions and you are most welcome here. All of us have different stories, different cancers, different treatments and different prognosis but each and everyone of us shares the same fears and all of us need support. You can’t compare, look at how many of us have been on identical treatments and responded vastly differently, we are all unique. The woman from work sounds like a pompous idiot to me and I’m sorry your husband is unsupportive. It’s incredibly hard to not be alone, yet feel lonely. As someone else says, I rarely respond to every post individually but I’m incredibly grateful for everyone’s contributions. Some days I don’t have the energy or sometimes I think other posts have covered what I would say. I wound strongly recommend some  counselling, to everyone really! Macmillan can help too and I’ve found calling them on dark days to be invaluable. Big hugs x

Thank you Anna12345.  I earlier replied to each person who so kindly responded to my post but not a one is showing. Did anyone receive my replies? If so, why can't I see them and if not, why not. This is getting ridiculous now.

I've read your posts and they're all very supportive towards others. It is lonely having cancer, no-one understands unless they've had it too, and that's why we're all here for you.

I can see this response, sometimes they delay, sometimes they don’t seem to log at all, some days it’s worse than others! Xx

GreyCats I am so sorry you have NHL as well as having had breast cancer. You are one steong lady.

Thank you so much for responding.

. To be fair to my husband he had acute NHL with a massive tumour which kept growing through the scar and the hospital thought initially was skin regrowth so just scalpelled it off without anaesthetic at his follow up appointment! He had chemo and radiotherapy and has an autoimmune disease called dermatomyesitis which is muscle wasting and painful like severe arthritis. Yet he remained so strong and positive. He is a practical rather than an emotional person.

Do I gather from your name you have cats? I have 4 rescue cats who have helped to keep me distracted since that first scary re-call from the Breast care unit.