Dealing with family stress and emotions

Sorry I have no experience on family stress but just to say, it is really early days for feeling tired after chemo. I'm 9 months on and still really tired out if I overdo things, though significantly improved and enjoying life again!

Perhaps talking to your daughter about what to expect in the coming months and year may help her understand that you need to put yourself first just now. I had chemo before surgery too and although I found surgery and rads a walk in the park compared to chemo, you still have to go through it all and it is exhausting. I also found recovering from my final chemo took the longest time as chemo is cumulative so I was completely floored. The last thing you need just no is family stress on top of trying to recover. Hopefully your daughter may be able to see that if you sit down and talk about it with her. Perhaps there is something bothering her that she feels she can't talk to you about just now as she doesn't want to burden you.

Thank you for this, it's given me a  way to navigate this. Thanks also for the advice about long term effects of chemotherapy. The tiredness is really hard to deal with, but hopefully I'll get there. 

I found it difficult at times with my husband. At one point, after he'd flounced out and one of his daughters came round unexpectedly and therefore found me both angry and tearful and about to start radiotherapy, I brought him round by just saying I wasn't coping very well with cancer. I don't think he was either but didn't want to admit that. The stepdaughter offered the whole family to take me to my sessions. In the end I drove myself there to avoid all the upset really. Cancer is tough on everyone.

It certainly is, sometimes I feel that my family resent me for being ill. Most of the time they're supportive but I feel I play down how awful I feel to save them getting upset. Hope you're doing well x

Hi Gez60. I do so feel for you, what you are going through is so difficult, as it is for your family. You don’t say how old your daughter is but I just wondered whether (if she is at school), you could speak to someone at school and see if they can offer her any support. Another thought is whether, rather than trying to talk to her, you write her a letter, explaining that you understand that she might not want to talk to you, but that you understand that it is hard for her, not just you, that if and when she wants to talk she can do so. I think that the Macmillan helpline might also be able to talk to her. She may just need more time to process what is happening, and therefore telling her that you understand that she doesn’t want to talk at the moment is also OK. Sorry, it’s all so very personal, you know your daughter the best, but at times it can b impossible to know what to do for the best. All the very best. Ros.

The tiredness is tough, and from my own experience, it took a few months to get energy levels back to a decent level and I have now found that they can still go again if I overdo it. I'm pretty active so still doing plenty, but I consider myself still very much in recovery, 9/10months on from chemo.