Not coping

Hello. Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Surgery is a big hurdle as well as the drugs they pump into you and for some the speed in which it happens. Waiting for results is hell. None of us like the waiting game. If you have worries, someone suggested to me to write them down so that they are out your head. I've found it hard to cope with the emotional side of things too.  Do you have family or friends you can confide in? Have you tried calling the Macmillan line? I've heard good things about them though I've not called myself. Its hard to suggest things as I don't know you but some of these things may help. Did they give you an idea of treatment plan? By all means if you want to post on here, feel free, there are lots of friendly people and we are all coping in our own ways. X

Hi,

thank you so much for replying. I will find out my treatment plan tomorrow. 

I have a partner who I don’t live with and also my ex husband is very supportive I live away from my family and I don’t like to worry them, I feel like nobody around me understands how I feel. 

I have spoken to a helpline from breast cancer now a few times and they are really good however I still feel so panicked all of the time. 

I feel I am making it so much worse for myself because of how I am being and I feel like I am trying so hard to stop feeling this way it’s making me worse! 

xx 

I don't live with my partner either and he is so supportive. I have mum and sister too but I have and do find it hard too as they are not going through it like I am. I struggled in the past with depression but feel getting on top of that but am happy to hold my hand up to say my anxiety and stress levels are way above the norm. It is hard as I've had to go to all my appointments on my own. I start radiotherapy tomorrow and am OK with position and breath hold but am still anxious about it. You might find it easier to share some news with family so that they can be there for you and your son. You will have wobble days as I call them. You've had surgery which is a big step too. It is emotionally draining but try and spend some energy doing things you like - trashy tv, cooking, reading. You can't alter the results so try not to waste your energy on worrying. I never used to worry about school exam results as I knew they wouldn't change!  The panic comes from not knowing the plan which is hard but you've only got till tomorrow to wait. I had to wait 3 weeks for results post surgery. I ended up ringing the breast care team the day before panicking that it was awful results and one nurse told me that it was good news. I don't know what to say but it is an emotional ringer. It is good that you know and understand why you are like this and in some cases its just how you react. Everyone is different. There are new treatments and drugs to help you whatever the outcome. Sending hugs for tomorrow.  Do post to let me know how it goes. Click my name to read more on me xx

I have always had underlying anxiety and have managed it very well over the years however this has made it so much worse. 
it is the unknown I think, I got terrified of the surgery as I had never had general anaesthetic before until then, however I was fine with it and met a couple of ladies that were having the same, we are going to keep in touch they were lovely. 
My mum is not the strongest of people ( that’s maybe where I get it from ).

I hope that your radiotherapy goes well tomorrow

lots of love xx 

Completely understandable reaction. I re read your story. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Sh1t happens. Its sometimes shows us how strong we can be under pressure and I've found that I just have to carry on but at first, it just used to be getting through one day at a time.

Not sure where in the country you are but do you have a Maggie's Centre near you? There is one attached to The Christie where I am having radiotherapy and I popped in to visit. I've also kept in touch with my ward buddy. We got chatting in waiting room day of surgery which was done differently due to covid rules and she ended up opposite me when we woke up. It is important to talk to someone even if you just express yourself. They may not get it so then talk to a professional.  My gp had a chat with me too about my mental health as I'm struggling with nausea and bad sleeping due to the Tamoxifen I'm now having to take. I'm definitely going to pop back to Maggies as its on site for me. You don't have to talk but it is good to get things out. I find I get very emotional so when she asked me about how it was going I just burst into tears. I know its hard but keep going. Not long now xx

I think the nearest Maggie to me is at Christie’s I live about 35 mins away from Manchester however I’m not having my treatment there.

I had counselling today and got really upset, but I know it’s good to share how I am feeling.

Like all of us we would never think of this happening would we, it’s such a shocking thing to come to terms with.

Thank you so much for just being there to speak to me today, ive just had another good cry so I will sleep tonight! I suppose I am just going through the motions of it all and in some ways it is probably a good thing that we are letting emotions out rather than bottling them up.

xx

Hello And80,

I'm so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. My lumpectomy is due on 8th September. I don't have children, so I can't imagine how you feel right now. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow when you go for your results. My solace at the moment is my garden. I spend as much time as I can in it pottering about and buying plants I don't have room for! There are moments when I look up and think 'Wow! I actually haven't thought about cancer for a few moments.' I'm finding waiting (for all sorts of things) the hardest part at the moment. I'm waiting for my Headteacher to send an email to staff to let them know. I know everyone is so supportive, but I feel sick waiting. Stupid I know! You're not alone. People do get through this. We will too. Good luck for tomorrow. xx

Hi And80

Good luck for tomorrow. Sorry to hear you feel like you're not coping. I think you are doing so much better than you realise. It's a stressful business. Please let us know how you get on with your results. Remember we are all here for the same reason and understand. I can't say I know what you're going through because I am not you, but I can empathise because I have a shared experience xx 

• Hi, the mental battle is so hard I think, well done for talking about it.  I don't know if you've tried meditation but I've found this one really helpful since my diagnosis.  It's for no particular faith and might just help.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7xZ6KKbTxM If not this one, there are others on youtube you might prefer.