Chemo Done & Dusted

Congratulations on finishing chemo! I hope your SEs ease over the next few days and that you can look forward to not having any more. I had 6 of 8 yesterday and am now counting down big time to 7 and 8. 

Like you, I’m now starting to think about surgery which should be towards mid to end August. I’m terrified of general anaesthetic (without any good reason whatsoever) and also worried about what they might find, even though I’ve had MRIs so they know what’s there and that it has shrunk. I guess we struggle to believe there’s a chink of light out there somewhere and we’re moving onto the next stage. 

I won’t be having immediate reconstruction because of the need for radiotherapy, so I’ll still have that to look forward to but I’m going to consider that early next year. 

I think it’s perfectly normal to worry - we didn’t know what chemo would really be like. Now we’re thinking so what will surgery be like, followed by radiotherapy and then for me (oh joy) what will hormone therapy be like. I’m trying so hard to go in with an open mind and to just wait until I get there. With a few wobbles in between.

Try to keep being positive - it’s got you this far!

Best of luck for the next part of your journey and beyond

Nardine xx

Hi Wendy

Well done on finishing your chemo and sorry that you are feeling the side effects.

It’s only natural to feel worried about waiting to see if the chemo has worked. The waiting Ito know whether the treatments have worked or not is very hard.

Wishing you the best of luck with your surgery next month and hopefully you’ll start to feel better soon.

Best wishes

Dsisy

This is completely normal! I thought I'd feel more elated when I finished chemo, but I still had to get through the side effects and by then (6 sessions for me) I was finding it harder to recover quickly so I knew it was a long haul. I also had lumpectomy and radiotherapy after chemo and so you are worried about that. At that point, I wasn't' actually cancer-free, they still had to do the 'main event' of surgery when they could finally tell you everything about the cancer and whether it had spread to lymph nodes etc.

I ended up being really worried just before surgery, mainly because it was 4 weeks after my last chemo and I still felt so worn out . I was worried about the anesthetic when I felt so low, but it was all completely fine.

Radiotherapy was a breeze after all that.

I think with chemo, you are just existing from one cycle to the next and you are completely focused on trying to get through it. Then suddenly it's finished and you start processing what has actually happened. 

Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel a bit rubbish - you have already been through so much. People don't' know how tough chemo really is, but you're done now, hooray!

I'm going to be in the same situation as you in a few weeks, thanks for the advice 

Hi

I feel exactly the same. I have just finished my chemo and menrally and physically I am exhausted. I thought I would be happy when it is finished and to be honest maybe I should be more grateful. It is just we have such a long journey and the end of path is not really clear. I sm trying to be positive for my children but I think they have noticed how tired I am all the time. Last 2 -3 cycels have been very tiring for me. I keep telling myself one day I feel much better .. I guess it all deponds how the rest of journey goes. Good luck with your treatment xx

Hun, I know exactly what you mean. I am now 3 months clear of finishing my chemo and have had radiotherapy and now on hormone therapy but have really struggled. I think this is where the enormity of the whole experience hits you and you feel like everything has shifted. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to no longer be suffering physically due to the treatment (though feeling down with hot flushes and really struggling to shift the excess weight I gained during ‘active treatment’). I think you start to “take stock” as until you finish active treatment you are purely in survival mode and focussed on staying here. As soon as I finished my active treatment, my husband returned to work and I have had to look after our 4 year old (who suffers from bad eczema) by myself due to having to self-isolate with outbreaks at nursery etc and have had a virus which won’t shift. My work have been hassling me relentlessly to return but I haven’t been able to go for a coffee and see friends and family yet so I can’t gauge where I am. I feel so much pressure to return but I have told them my head isn’t straight enough yet!! Those who haven’t experienced this seem to think it’s like any operation but I’ve had operations in the past, recovered and gone straight back but this is not something you can bounce back from. I am going to start counselling on 10th which I have never tried previously. I will let you know if I find it useful. Have you considered that yourself? For me, it wasn’t so much the thought of dying, it was leaving my son who is my universe. The horror of that just won’t leave me and has left me down. As I have been busy with him I don’t feel like I have been able to stop, think and process everything. I’m hoping counselling will give me the tools to do this. 

I know exactly how you feel   Hope this gives you some reassurance.

Warm hugs, Bekky xxx

Thanks Bekky,

Atleast here, I don't feel alone with my feelings. I am the same, the thought of leaving my children is what is bothering me. My cancer is Triple negative and I know most people survive but I am still scared. I am hoping the result if treatment after surgery makes me more positive. I have done coucelling before but not since having cancer. I will consider it if I feel the same after ending my treatment. I am going to start mindfullness and hope it gives my mind a bit of rest! Hope you find councelling useful and things get easier for you. Take care xx

Hi Bekky

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling since you finished your treatment. It's good that you have decided to get counselling. 

I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer last September and I really struggled at times. I struggled so much that I arranged to get counselling.  I've  been getting counselling since January and I have to say I've found it a great help. My counselor suggested come copping strategies which I've found very helpful.

Wishing you the best of luck with your counselling and take care.

Best wishes

Daisy53

Hi Raf44

Sorry that you are feeling exhausted after your treatment. I know exactly how you feel.  I too was diagnosed with Triple negative breast cancer last September. I thought I'd be delighted when I finished my chemo but it felt like a bit of an anticlimax. After my surgery to remove my remaining tumour and two lymph nodes there was still some cancer left in one of my nodes so I'm having further chemo though it tablet form, so maybe I knew deep down that I wasn't finished with chemo. I did have scan after my operation to make sure the Cancer hadn't spread any further and thankfully it hadn't. The new chemo is just a precautionary measure.

I've tried mindfulness and found that it helped still my mind.

Wishing you the best of luck with everything and mind yourself.

Best wishes

Daisy

Thanks Daisy, how do you find the chemo tablets? My onco told me if I don't have complete response after surgery, she will give me some tablets. I have read they have  increased survival by 10% in some studies. So I guess we are lucky we are being offered that treatment option. Take care xx