Does anyone else feel that they have just had enough

I don’t have to have chemo.  But I am glad someone else feels like me   What a rotten journey this is x.  I try and keep myself busy. I potter about in my garden.  Paint furniture  talk to friends and family. Watch tv.  I Carnt concentrate to read a book which is driving me crazy  I have joined a yoga class for when my radiotherapy finishes. I am 62   It depends how old you are and what your lifestyle was like before your diagnosis x 

I'm 39 & self employed my doctor said I won't be able to work for at least a year with the type of work that I do.

Yes it's definitely a tough journey everyone else looks like their going out nice places, doing nice things, going on holidays & I'm here too ill & too tired & no money to do anything now its totally rubbish.

Thanks your definitely right with the hobbies il definitely look into something today to try take my mind off of things at the moment it just seems to be everywhere I look & all people talk to me about x

And every day tv ad seems to be about some sort of cancer   I don’t work but because my husband does I am not entitled to any financial help. Hope you have looked into everything x  

I know it definitely does its never ending.

I'm a single parent so have applied for universal credit & hoping to also get pip so at least my house bills will be covered.

I've just taken everything cancery out of my house & put it all out of sight in the car boot, I'm going to tell everyone cancer talk is now banned lol & I'm going to look into starting a new buisness from home & some hobbies.

Definitely time to focus on other things now, thankyou so much x

Good for you.  I started decluttering one drawer or cupboard per day. It passed a bit of time   Have you had any thoughts on your business from home ?? Good idea   Do you think you will qualify for pip I looked at it.  But the criteria to qualify is very high 

I'm not sure if I will qualify for pip yet either the forms look quite complicated but macmillan said that they can help us fill them out so worth a try.

I usually work as a dog groomer but because of the risk of infection & as its a very physical job the doctor said that work is a no go for at least a year so was thinking about maybe setting up an online shop on amazon or ebay.

I've seen you can arrange delivery's from your house & also wouldnt be stuck to a strict work time schedule on the sick days so might be a good idea x

Hi Fhamilton, 

this is something that we all go through. It’s . But it’s like covid time; get over the treatment and their is normal life on the other side. It’s just you appreciate it more( but only at first then you forget!) If you have kids you might rememb how grim it was at first; but you survive and forget! Don’t expect too much of yourself, eat when you can, ignore the housework. Sit in the sun and cuddle dogs

Thankyou I'm just having rubbish day today the thought of a year of different treatments & feeling like this just seems impossible just now but definitely going to try focus on other things before I go mad

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Although I am only just starting my cancer journey, I have been chronically ill for 7 years. Most of those years have been spent predominantly bed bound, so I do understand about life changing circumstances.  My condition is a sudden onset post viral severely fatiguing illness. I had to adjust to some very difficult life changes - my career, my physical and financial independence, my hobbies, my social life and aspects of my pride, self-worth and dignity just... ended. I had to learn dealing with doctors (good and bad, private and NHS) and the DWP. I had to cope with the guilt of feeling like a burden on loved ones, helpless to help them. I couldn't bear light, noise, smells or touch, my immune system, memory, and digestion didn't work, and I couldn't write, use screens and had difficulty reading. It was a very isolating shock to the system. Although I have better control of some of my symptoms now, my life remains small compared to what it was. But so much larger than it was when I first became ill. It also means that I have had 7 years to learn coping mechanisms, go through a mourning process for my old life and come out the other side, and if it helps you at all, I'll share with you what helps me through.

I have learned a lot during this time. I've learned that I am not defined by my career or physical  achievements - I am defined by my values. I've learned that meaning in my life comes from lots of little things like helping other people, even if just with advice or sharing experiences or being someone to talk to; or sharing a moment with animals like being greeted by a neighbour's dog, or even if its just watching birds at the feeder outside my window; or laughing at something silly. My routine of medications, gauging fatigue against which daily living task to do or to omit each hour or each day, and the many therapies is my full time job now.  It's not just okay but it's good to spend time just breathing in the air outside when you can and relishing it, or listening to an audio book in bed, or losing myself in some meditation. On the days I can pick up a paintbrush and canvas for half an hour, that's the greatest investment in myself that I can make, even if I can't do it again for 2 months. I was always very creative.  I mourn those things rarely now. My priorities are not lesser than when I was healthy, they're just different. Reminding myself of that is helpful. 

Helping myself in anyway I can has also been helpful, it gives me a sense of control and independence, if only in a small way. I understand my symptoms well, I ensure my home and belongings are adapted to maximise my independence even with severe fatigue - from switching manual toothbrushes and tin openers to electric ones, to having comfy clothes, a garden that mostly looks after itself, and making my bedroom a pretty haven of comfort and silence and practicing good sleep hygiene. What helps you will be different, but it's important to find those seemingly little things that bring you joy - we take them for granted when we're healthy. But they become so much more important for our mental and physical health when we're managing life altering health conditions and treatments, and they help us live in the present moment. Which has been helpful for me rather than focussing on a future date that might not live up to expectations. Now is the most important moment. 

I'm hopeful some of these ways of being will help me on my cancer journey too. Time will tell. I hope you find ways to make your experience more tolerable as well. 

Me, I have certainly had enough. Six weeks in got my diagnosis, have not even got a rough idea of size, consultant said its small, okay I cannot feel it, but my mind is working overtime, it has consumed me  not eating properly or sleeping. Advised I am  grade 2.  Currently waiting to be seen in plastics clinic so they can book my surgery. I am looking for advise as well.  Would the consultant know if its big or small without knowing a proper size. I am really struggling xx