Reconstruction after lumpectomy

Hello ,

I am sorry you had to come to this site, however, this is how we all ended up here - we are all in a place none of us wanted to be..... but... once here you are not alone.... I feel I remember your name.  It is a complete whirlwind you step on a roller coaster of a ride that you hadn't realised you were in the queue - then off it starts.... the person you was has gone forever and you never got chance to take it all in.

I have a few thoughts, but, remember they are my own thoughts and you have to do what is right for you......

First, mentally this is still early days, you have had one of the biggest shocks of your life and even thought treatment may be finished 'as such' - your body still has a lot of healing going on inside and you head as a lot of processing - none of which it would of done when first diagnosed - most will of gone over your head and the other will be overlooked whilst having treatment.

I had lumpectomy with a large amount of tissue taken out.... my first consultant talked of me having a 'therapeutic mammoplasty' - this was lumpectomy one side and other side reduced 'to match' ..... I worked myself up to go with this, then through various reasons I went with a different consultant ..... this consultant said there was no need for this as 'my body' in time will 'fill in ' there the tissue was taken from.  I was then feeling a little down, as mentally I was looking forward to the idea of 'smaller boobs' ..... but on the other hand 'did I really want to to this if it wasn't necessary'.  

At first, all I wanted was my boobs taken off - to get rid of 'it'......

Then Consultant explained there was no need for such drastic action, a lumpectomy with clear margins is all that is needed.
I went with what my Consultant had said, I had lumpectomy and radiotherapy (internally at time of operation).  During my healing it took me a long time to 'actually look' at my boob.... then with time I could, but, it reminded me of 'it'.  As time went on, days turning to weeks, weeks into months, my body was 'filling' in the area.  Now 3 and 1/2  years on the area has filled in.  I have a slight pull on the scar line (I reckon if I had or was to use some good cream this would settle down).  

Time is a great healer, I do think back and wonder what my body would be like if I had had my boobs reduced at the time of the operation. Although, I have not and I can't see myself putting myself forward for a boob reduction now .....  that's not because of the procedure - it's done to me and not having courage to do this..... as my consultant said, I would of had this surgery done years ago - if I had wanted it.  .... now my putting myself forward for this wouldn't happen.... I'm still trying to get myself to have microblading eyebrows down.... hahah - that's not happening anytime soon either.

From what you are saying 'you need more time to think about all this' and if that's what you want - then that's what you should have.

Don't feel pressured into anything, you have gone through a massive life experience - go through what you are comfortable with - you might want reconstruction, you might not.... from your post, I think after the first year is when we start to heal and move forward - we take in all that has gone on.... even to the point of wondering why we feel so sad when the 1st year anniversary arrives.... our brains associate anniversary's as nice, fun times - yet we feel sad.... this is because it brings the whole thing back to us..... it wasn't a nice, happy time - so our first year anniversay tends to be filled with sadness and all we have gone through.

Speak to other ladies on here that have had reconstruction - find out all the in's and outs and also talk to ladies that haven't had reconstruction. 

Then give yourself time - ask you consultant for time.  See how you feel about leaving it or if you really want reconstruction. 

Mentally you might not be in the right place to go through surgery at this time - these are questions you will have the answers to - just be kind to yourself, take your time - there is no rush. You have come so far - it might be a question too that once you decide if you are or aren't having reconstruction surgery - that will be the time you start to move forward. 

Hoping other ladies can help you - most of all, go with what you want - for you - no one else.

Love and Hugs,

Gail W

I had lumpectomy and 5 lymph nodes removed around a year ago, as I'm old I told the surgeon that I did not want any more surgery as nobody was going to see anything!

My daughter said I should try a padded bra as I'm well endowed I would never have done that but it worked as you can no longer tell the difference. Do what is best for you but look at your options first. 

Take care and don't think about "it" coming back because it may never happen! Be positive if you can and realise that you are currently clear. 

Dearest pensionerp,

Such wise words and for us all to take in and remember ..... 'it may never happened' - most of us don't think of this, we do spend so much time worry of the what if's and loose sight of the current here and now.

I did smile when you said you didn't want any more surgery because you are old..... this is naughty, age is just a number, so long as you try hard to laugh, move about and keep motivated you don't need to think of age.  

My mom has just turned 90 and was feeling very low around this time, we joked and I said.... you are only a 'day' older, and also 70 is the new 90 ..... to me, rightly or wrongly, it is all about how we feel inside - how we feel for ourselves - not for how others see us or maybe want us to be.

xx

Thanks for that. I agree totally age is just a number and I am "only" 73 now!  Wise words indeed and if only more people were able to heed them! Not so simple though!

It took me about a year to stop "it" invading my every thought but at the time of the operation etc. I could not get it out of my head. This forum has probably been the instigator  which has helped get myself back together. x

Thank you so much for your time to answer, I haven’t had anyone sit down and talk with me like you have, it means a lot. 
what you are saying makes so much sense I always say to other if in doubt leave it.. you get lost in it all don’t you… I laughed about your eyebrows You should get them done your treat… I was thinking of having my lashes done as their not as thick and long as they used to be  

I have decided to hold of any more surgery, I’ve been through enough for now… as you said have time to recover…. as soon as I could after my operations I was back at work and been throwing myself into it ever since… just need to take some me time… 

thank you again ladies you have all been so helpful, keep well and safe xx