Just ranting

Hello djuna I'm not going to pretend I know how you feel but sometimes a good rant is what's needed xx life can be strange and cruel, all at the same time but it can also be interesting and kind, my moto is be kind cause you don't know what's going on in someone's life xx

Hi Djuna,

Please feel free to rant! Quite a few people here have suffered varying degrees of mental health issues  before diagnosis,  and a few (all of us?!) as a result.  My sister had them from her 30's as well as breast cancer twice at age 56 and 75. She would feel worse after appointments with a therapist too as it raised her problems,  and she was so self-analytical anyway nothing new was done from exposing herself.  She always felt that they weren't very understanding,  and I do think it's hard to find a good therapist ( she had quite a few over the years) but they do exist! I was referred to the hospital one and she was really good.

Can I ask if you have spoken to your surgeon about your breasts if they are lop sided? Could they do something to make them more symmetrical? Lots of women have a 'phase 2', as the effects on our self esteem are well known, and in non- covid times expensive  surgeries like Diep are funded as well, even as a delayed option to women who are flat or have had implants. 

I wish I could give you a big hug, tell you that beauty comes in all sorts of shapes,  sizes and colours,  and have a chat. My daughter also has mental health issues and she and her friends found sitting chatting honestly to friends who understand helped them.

I'm sure others will be along soon, but take care,  welcome to the forum xxx

When I was young and 7 stone I hated my fat belly . After I had my children I hated my stretch marks . I really didn’t want anyone to see them . I had a boyfriend who kissed them and said not to be so silly that to him it didn’t matter at all which made me understand that it was not anything that mattered . If it was the other way around and you wanted to be with someone I am very sure you would except the fact that it’s saved a life . Please try to look at it in that way . It saved you so you should be happy and proud to have had it  . Sending you good wishes beautiful lady 

Hi, thanks for your response. I've been really lucky in that I've had what would probably be called a "good surgical outcome" - when I'm dressed I don't think you can even tell I've had surgery. It's just that when I take my bra off one side is no longer affected by gravity, and I don't see how they'd be able to even that up without having a mastectomy/implant on the other side as well. I've got an appointment to go back in a year to talk about the possibility of nipple replacement (once everything has had time to settle down), but if I'm going to have to have the whole lot opened up and replaced in 10 years (assuming I make it that far) there doesn't seem to be a great deal of point

I know I should be happy and proud, but I'm not. I know I've been really lucky and I should be grateful, but I'm not. I'm selfish, miserable and ungrateful. I know it's more about what's going on in my own head than what other people might think, but I'm the one who has to live in here and I loathe it

Of course your no selfish miserable and ungrateful and obviously what your going through is ten times as bad as mine was I think I can understand and feel very sorry for you . Have you asked the nurses for help ? Maybe a councillor could help