Family member diagnosed with breast cancer

So sorry to hear of your Mum's diagnosis and I know it is a really difficult thing for family to go through. I received my diagnosis a year ago and so have had most of my treatment and am out the other side cancer free but I know it was very hard for my family. But please be reassured that breast cancer treatments these days are very good and there is every reason to be positive. I am by no means an expert and don't want to misinform you on anything but I think I can answer a couple of your queries. In regards to the lymph nodes, they are probably removing some to see whether the cancer has started spreading as the cancer cells will travel from the breast through the lymph nodes. I had this done and mine showed no signs of spreading. I was also told by my surgeon that if the margins aren't clear it just means that they might not have got it all out and so they go back in and remove a bit more tissue which happens in about 1 in 10 cases. Don't think this has anything to do with whether chemotherapy is necessary or not.- I already knew before surgery I would need chemotherapy from the biopsy results. 

I know that Macmillan are there for family as well as patients and they are amazing, so if you need someone to talk to or answer medical questions that you don't want to bother your Mum with, I can't recommend them enough. I hope everything goes well with your Mum's treatment and stay positive x

Thank you so much for your kind response and I am so glad to hear that you are out the other side!!  Must be such a relief for you and your family!

I have now been told that they need to remove some lymph nodes as they could feel it was slightly swollen under my mums arms.  They have said that it is early stage and very treatable but I don’t know what stage it is as yet.  

They have only discussed radiotherapy with the doctor and there had been no mention of chemo. Obviously waiting for the results is the worst bit! I cry myself to sleep at night just thinking the worst! It’s just so hard to deal with ....

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so awful. Please be reassured that the doctors do not sugar coat things, and if they said it was fully treatable than that is what you should remind yourself of. If they didn't believe this to be true, they wouldn't have said so. I was terrified of the surgery as I had  never had an operation before, but it was a doddle. I didn't have any pain after, just discomfort, and was pleasantly surprised at how much I could do. Radiotherapy was also better than expected. Stay strong and don't let yourself dwell on bad thoughts - easier said than done I know, but you will be surprised how quickly the time goes and then before you know it, you will be out the other side like me! Hope everything goes well x

Thank you! How did you find the chemo?  That is the one thing that scares me and the one thing my mum is scared off should she need to have it! Obviously the hair loss is what frightens most.  
Also, if lumpectomy doesn’t work, my mum will then have to have mastectomy and chemo. I really hope it’s just radiotherapy but I guess we won’t find out until after the surgery. It’s the waiting that’s so awful .....

im guessing if the doctor has decided to do a lumpectomy that she thinks this will get rid of the cancer otherwise she would have done a mastectomy. Her words were ‘good news, we can move ahead with a lumpectomy.’

thank you so much for responding to me.  It’s nice having someone to offload to who has been through it and come out the other end!

thank you!

I was absolutely terrified of the chemo as I think any sane person would be so completely understand your concerns. I can't lie - it wasn't pleasant but I just took each day at a time and plodded through it. My understanding from speaking to other patients at the chemotherapy unit, is that it is different for everybody. There are so many different drugs given in different combinations and individuals react in different ways. Some people seem to sail through with nothing but a bit of tiredness whilst others suffer more and can take a long time to really recover from. Even now, I still have a few residual effects which is quite normal apparently and it took me months to even feel anywhere near normal.

I wasn't that bothered about losing my hair - I kind of viewed it that it was better than losing my life and hair grows back. Mine has now grown back enough that you wouldn't know I had had chemo, and actually I prefer it to before! I always had dead straight hair that I wore shoulder length. But now it is all curly and I love it short. Don' think I would ever have had it cut this short before, but now am going to keep it this way. I also saw many people with the most beautiful wigs that you would never have known were not their own hair. And there were other benefits - no shaving or plucking required for months!! 

So chemo is definitely the worst part of treatment, but I got through it and so will your Mum if she has to. I hope I haven't frightened you even more but I had prepared myself for it being worse than it was which meant I was ready to take whatever it threw at me. Keeping a good sense of humour helps too!!

Let me know how you get on - I shall keep my fingers crossed for you that the news is good following surgery and that your Mum won't need the chemo. But if she does, she will get through it and it sounds like she will have amazing love and support from yourself which will make all the difference. Good luck x