Body conscious

Hi , sorry you’ve just had this diagnosis, I think it’s always shocking to be told you have cancer and any reaction is ‘normal’. Welcome to the forum and I hope you’ll find lots of support and shared experiences here. Lots of people here have said they were worried about their partner’s reaction to their altered body and I think there’s a Facebook group about ‘going flat’? In my case I had a lumpectomy but it wasn’t a pretty sight in the early days after the op. I had to ask my husband to help me change the dressing quite soon after as it was just too awkward for me to do it myself. I did apologise and said it looked horrible but he was fine, more nervous that he’d hurt me. I suspect your husband will be the same. But that’s not to belittle your worries, they are natural and I’d say completely normal. Can you bear to discuss it with him at this point or are you feeling too overwhelmed with it all? 
I was also nervous when I first went swimming about 8 months after surgery. I’m not flat but it’s obvious that my affected boob has been changed, the scar is many inches long and it’s quite misshapen at the side. The changing rooms are communal which I hadn’t realised but I just took a deep breath and got on with it. Whether anyone looked or not I don’t know, I just focused on getting changed. In a way it felt quite liberating. 
I’m sure others will pop in with their stories, there’s lots of support here and there’s always someone with a similar case. 
Have you a date for surgery yet? Wishing you well and sending love and a big virtual hug, HFxx

Hi I have my mastectomy on Wednesday and still numb from getting the news on Tuesday. I still can’t speak about it with crying my eyes out

Hi , 

im so so sorry, it’s hard. But time will allow you to reconcile that you are still you, you’re not defined by your outward appearance but are still the same lovely person inside as you always were, it’s just that you’ve an extra bit of burden to carry after that operation, that you’ve HAD cancer. Your husband will hopefully get to reassure you too. 

sending big hugs xxx

Hi , glad you have a date for your op, if only because it’s something to focus on even though I know you must be dreading it. It’s a horrible time, waiting for things to happen, and it’s normal to be tearful and to find it difficult to talk about. Good you are speaking about it here - this will always be a ‘safe’ place where you can say what you like. It’s so much harder talking to our nearest and dearest as we’re often trying to protect them or worrying about their reactions. 
It will get easier. This time next week the op will be done and you will have started your recovery. 
Love and hugs, HFxx