Rendering myself infertile through chemo.....

Hi,

Yes. I have. I’m 39 and was just at the point of trying for a family so it has been a devastating but necessary decision. Had first treatment today and feeling so sad about this future being taken from me. I found that there wasn’t much support or acknowledgement about just how big a blow this is.

For me, it came down to the cold hard reality that my cancer is advanced and extensive... it’s in the lymphs too. The ‘choice’ to delay would only lead in one direction so, hard though it is, this is my best chance of survival. And for that, I’m trying to be positive. That realisation has given me some peace so I hope you can reconcile yourself to your decision too. I tend to find that there are no ‘good’ or ‘better’ choices... only less ‘bad’ ones!

xxx

Oh luce!  It is so touch isnt it?  I am so sorry for you + totally understand how you feel.  Stay as positive as you can, your survival is what matters right now + it doesn't necessarily mean the end of your family dreams - there are other options for a later date if you so wish! Sending you so much love 

I️ am waiting to see how bad/advanced my cancer may be so the choice was a no brainer - I am so extremely lucky to have a bright + beautiful 5-year old little boy + I need to think of him + not any future potential children right now no matter how heartbreaking it is.

If you ever want to reach out, I am here!

Sending you all the love + you are in my thoughts xx

Hi.

I was 45 when diagnosed with invasive inflamatory her+ multitumor hormone negative with plus lymph nodes. I had no choice and had strongest treatment in most possible dosage. After 3 cycles and 4 a&e visits and 2 admissions almost 3 weeks together my treatment was changed as my body could not cope no more.

I had chemo 6 cycles in total, mastectomy with lymph nodes removal, 3 weeks radio and 18 cycles of targeted therapy as IV also.

I must say my ovaries are burnt too. No menstruation. I feel drained not myself no more. My boob is gone and bare rib cage to bones. 42kg of weigh. Hair growing back but it will take 2 years to gain the previous lenght.. I miss my previous body and life. Don't show myself and dislike my body. I have hot flashes, tiredness. Intimacy with my beloved husband no joy any more. Does not exist any more due to lack of my body libido response. Me is not me any more...

You are right.. survival counts most but how to leave the life after such a devastating experience?

Hi everyone,

Having just read through this forum I felt compelled to tell you all my story, in the hopes it may keep your own hopes going. I was diagnosed with cancer twice, once when I was 21 with Hodgkins Lymphoma and then again this year aged 34 with TNBC. I also have endometriosis, diagnosed when I about 28.

When I was diagnosed this year for the TNBC, the doctor gave me the option to have a Zoladex injection once a month to protect my ovaries, I wasn't keen on it as in all honesty, i'd resigned myself to think there's no point anymore. But she really encouraged me to do it so I did and I'm thankful for it. As soon as I stopped the injections post chemo I went back on the pill (for my endo) but I could tell quite quickly that my cycle was going back to normal. Although I don't have periods as I am on the pill 24/7 for endo, I can tell through changes in my body where I am in my cycle.

I suppose I say this because I don't want any of you to think your chances of early menopause are an absolute given, it's not always the case. I appreciate I'm a few years younger but my body has been ravaged for well over a decade, and the ovaries are still going.

Tiga, i'm really gutted you feel this way about yourself. I completely understand how difficult it is to look at yourself before and now. It will take time to love yourself again, before I had been on my long winded cancer journey I was a nimble wee thing and now I resemble the michelan man! Try to take each day as it comes if you can, you will get through this difficult part.

Jem x

Pippypop how are you doing after all that time? How did you get on with treatment? How do you feel recently?

Jem how are you doing after all days, months, years passed? How do you feel?

Hi Tiga, so lovely to hear from you. I'm doing well, every day it gets a little easier. Still a bit of pain from radio and tiredness from chemo but those are to be expected. How are you doing? 

Jem x