Newly diagnosed and freaking out

Hi and welcome to site I know you don't want to be here but it's def. the right place to be for the support you need .So firstly Pause and take a breath ! This is the worst part waiting for results / appointments/treatment . It does get better as you get your treatment plan and then start your plan .It must be much harder after the  loss of your mother but the treatments for BC are so successful . Its a year since my masectomy you can read my story by clicking on my name . Had mastectomy then chemo now on three weekly treatment went into shielding bald came out with needing a haircut .

Try to stop questioning yourself it's happened we all think there should be a reason but tends not to be . Don't waste your energy on the what ifs or what next . Concentrate on now one day one step at a time you will get thru it .

have a browse around the site you'll find other newbies with the same worries that you can chat to along with others who have been there and can answer some questions for you . If you just want to chat there is the Awake site where along with lots of experience there is also a lot of humour .

keep posting 

margaret x

Hi , sorry you've found yourself here but hopefully you'll find lots of support and shared experiences. I'm older than you but also lost my mum to cancer, breast in her case. And my dad to prostate cancer. So I understand how terrifying it is to get a cancer diagnosis yourself. As to the why...... no answers, I lead a pretty healthy lifestyle too. Both my sisters said 'why you?' but I find it easier just to try to accept that it's happened. Having said that, I think I am generally healthier now than I was pre diagnosis as I've looked at all the positive things I can do for my type of breast cancer (oestrogen receptive, negative for everything else). At your stage I'd just carry on leading a generally healthy lifestyle until you know the exact nature of your particular beast. You'll know this at the post op consultation, when you'll get the answers you need to know what you're dealing with.

For the positivity: from the sounds of your proposed surgery (lumpectomy and sentinel nodes biopsy?) and the proposed treatment (surgery followed by radiotherapy?), it looks like they consider it to be an early stage breast cancer? That's all good. And remember that treatments have moved on hugely in recent years. Your healthy lifestyle is also a positive as it will help to prevent recurrence. The other thing to bear in mind is that after the lumpectomy you should essentially be 'cancer free'. The radiotherapy is the 'belt and braces' to help prevent recurrence. As I had an oestrogen receptive cancer, I'm now on oestrogen busting tablets (anastrozole as I'm post menopausal), which is again to prevent recurrence. And I've refined what was already a healthy diet and lifestyle further as that's one thing I can control, to help prevent recurrence. 

Don't beat yourself up for feeling so desperate, so many of us here have said that your stage is in many ways the worst. Tortuous waiting in a horrible sort of limbo. But this stage will end, and you will move on to a more definite stage when your treatment starts with the operation. Be kind to yourself, take offers of help (none of us are super heroes, we all need support). Keep coming here to post, ask questions, or just to rant and rave. And take comfort from all the folk here who were diagnosed many years ago and are still around to tell the tale! And there are many more out there who just don't choose to come back here once their treatment is complete. 

Sending love and gentle hugs, HFxx

Hi samantha, my heart goes out to you. So sorry to hear about your mum. Then to recieve your news so soon after, I cant imagine.its hard to stop your mind going into overdrive. I remember the waiting it was awful, lots of sleepless nights. There is a thread here called awake, so when you cant sleep, or just need a friendly chat theres usually someone here. It's a while since I've been on here properly, I was diagnosed dec 2015 double mastectomy. 6 months chemo, now on tamoxifen. I've been to hell and back but I'm here to tell the tale. I lost friends who didnt, couldn't! Understand but I have new ones now. I had to leave my job and didnt work for 3 years, now I have a totally new career and I love it. I never thought I could work again let alone something different. No ones journey is ever the same, I have 2 friends who had breast cancer one had a lumpectomy chemo and radiotherapy, the other single mastectomy and chemo. We have all coped in our own way, there is no right or wrong through all of this. We are all different people. Friend no 1 back at work just after 6 months. Friend no 2 went back after 2 years. We've laughed, we've cried, we've shouted and screamed but we totally understood. I met these ladies at the start of treatment then later on I joined this site. Sal is amazing she started the awake thread, I'm sure she will be here soon to welcome you to the group. She is extremely kind and along with the other lovely ladies will help you as they all helped me. Take care sending lots of love. Xxx

Hi 

So sorry to hear that you lost your Mum recently.I can confirm that cancer treatments have improved enormously in the last few years - see my profile .I think that the waiting is the worst part and quite soon you will have "Had" cancer. The rest of the treatment is belts and braces as others have said. Don't be tempted to search on Mr Google -it is often out of date and not helpful This site and associated nurses and experts are a much better source of information. Almost everyone on here has been where you are right now and truly understand how devastated you are feeling. But it does get better ,very much better as time goes on!!  I am proof of that. Try and be kind to yourself and perhaps plan meals etc for when you are post -op.Keeping busy doing things you usually enjoy ( although restricted by covid rules) was I found the best answer and this great site with answers to all your questions however silly you think they are! Sending big gentle hugs xxKwissy

Thank you so much for taking time to reply to me and share. 

I think it's harder as I watched mum suffer and its so fresh and scary. 

You are so brave and should be so proud of yourself.

Waiting is so hard x

Thank you so much Margaret for sharing that with me, you are very brave. 

It's so hard isn't it, but this site is really helping me. 

I also find it hard seeing my family upset. 

Trying to put on a brave face is hard. 

Sending you love and positive thoughts xx

Hi Happyfeet

Your message felt like a massive, much needed cuddle. Thank you. 

I really needed to hear that, and well done you for being so strong and positive, you are very brave. 

Sending lots of love and thank you for your time, it's really appreciated xx

Thank you so much for taking time to share with me, you are brave and amazing. I appreciate your information xxx