Not diagnosed yet but scared

 hi guessing you can't sleep as you are stressing .  Sorry I can't give you an answer but we've all been in your shoes,  The uncertainty and waiting is horrendous.  If you click on my name it will till you to my profile with blurb about diagnosis 5 years ago, 

So at clinic usually you first have mammogram and then ultrasound and possibly biopsy.  While they may be able to tell from the scans if its likely to be cancer many cannot and will not make that commitment!  I had to return a week later for my biopsy results.  At my 3 year mammogram check up I also has biopsy on my good breast and had to wait 5 days for results!  

If it is BC it's very treatable and honestly once you have treatment plan you feel calm.  IF it is cancer then treatment starts immediately.  No hanging around which is a relief,  There are posters on here who have been on your position and come back and told us they've had all clear but the majority who stick around to post have been treated for BC so you get a bit of a skewed response .

You will find fabulous support on this forum and no question silly or trivial xxx

When I spoke to the nurse to confirm my appointment I asked her how long after the mammogram and test would I get a diagnosis,she said "before you leave the clinic. You'll walk away from your appointment knowing one way or another". I was so relieved to hear that because the thought of waiting any longer made me feel sick. These last ten days have been horrible. So, it's possible I won't know on Friday then? Also, does the Biopsy hurt? 

I keep flitting between being really angry with myself and being really emotional. I know not being able to sleep won't be helping but I keep thinking about all the things I've not done because I wasn't expecting this. Things I haven't sorted. Its stupid. 

I had my initial appointment on 15th June, I was terrified and got my GP to prescribe me some diazepam, it helped take the edge off my fear.

On the day of the appointment I had a mammogram, ultrasound and a biopsy, three of the lump and one of the closest lymph node.  I was told straight away that it looked suspicious.  So I was dreading the biopsy but it was absolutely fine.  They give you a local anaesthetic, that I barely felt, then take the biopsy’s.  No pain just a slight pressure.  It was honestly fine, A blood test is more painful!

i can recommend Nytol, not the herbal variety.  It really helps you to get a good nights sleep, obviously I didn’t take any last night!   Getting a good nights sleep helps you cope with the days xx

I'm actually on prescribed sleeping medications but my brain just won't shut off. 

You said you had your initial appointment on the 15th June? I take it you would have had your biopsy results back? Can I ask if you've started treatment and what happens? I'm so apprehensive. I'm worried about not being able to manage with the kids. 

  Normally you have to wait for biopsy results as they go to the lab but often they have a good idea from the scans of possible cause.

The biopsy is fine, honestly.  I had 12 samples taken from 2 areas when first diagnosed which sounds scary but I had 3 radiographers with me and as I didn't have a lump they sat me down at mammogram machine and were guided by that.  I had a local to numb breast so I felt nothing.  1 radiographer talked to me to distract while the other 2 co-ordinated taking the biopsy.  I had just light bruising afterwards but no real pain.  The second time I had a biopsy the radiographer did it guided by ultrasound and I just lay there and she did it.  Again painless due to local.  I have had a cyst removed from my neck and would rate that horrendous as they were slow putting in the local and wiggling it around, I've also had 3 moles removed from back and when the doctor said sharp scratch for local he wasn't kidding.  None of that with biopsy, quick and easy and less painful that blood test needle going in.  I switch off during tests I'm stressed about by singing to myself!! I've done this for years when I had blood tests too!! Quite funny once when I had a load during pregnancy and the nurse noticed I was "not in the room".  Apparently her and my hubby had a full on conversation and not one word had registered with me!!   I sing a counting song like a child!!

Just be aware that while you can take someone to the appointment with you they are not normally allowed to go through with you.  At my unit there is an outer waiting area and inner.  At the inner it's patients only.   Not sure how they doiing it now post Covid but you will be asked to remove your top half of clothing so wear trousers or skirt and put on a short gown.   You used to then take a seat with a few other ladies also wearing the glamous capes to wait to be called for mammogram/ultra sound and then you sit and wait again to see doctor.  

I was recalled from my first routine mammogram for breast calcification so I didn't have a lump.  I was waiting with 4 other ladies who had also been recalled, one more than once.   I was last so saw 2 sent away - one with a cyst and the other as whatever they had found before had disappeared (she was the one on second recall as they wanted to double check).  The other 2 were told there and then they had breast cancer from scans and had a biopsy, I was told 99% certain I didn't!!  I was the 1%.  There is always one chatty one in the waiting area - sometime it's welcome, sometimes it's irritating!!

how old are your children.  Many womenn work through treatment.  I chose not to.  I was diagnosed 3rd June, had surgery - wide local excision (WLE also called a lumpectomy) 13th July (delay due to surgeon and consultant radiographer on holiday at different times and need both as I had wire guided surgery).   I was initially told it I would have surgery within 2 weeks.  Like many I was just a day patient so I was home in the evening eating soup I'd made the day before to distract me.  Then in September I had 3 weeks ( 15 sessions) of radiotherapy but this was 5 years ago and I believe many now offere intensive 5 sessions.  I didn't need chemo.  

Hi

I had biopsy on Monday 15th, they called me the following Monday with an appointment for the Tuesday to see the surgeon with my results.  Saw the oncologist on the Thursday that week and started chemo on the 8th July.  The time you are in now is the worst, the not knowing is the pits.

I'm not sure what ages your kids are but the first few days are a little like you have a bad hangover.  I also had headaches for a few days but i wasn't sick at all, the anti-sickness meds worked for me.

Be kind to yourself. x

My daughter is 17 and I know she will be fine but she has anxiety issues so I'm just a little concerned about that. It's more my 12yr old I'm worried about because of his Diabetes. I do most of his care when it comes to changing cannulas and infusion sets and he's extremely skinny and finds them painful. He is becoming more independent with it and is doing well but he's just not quite there yet. I was worried about feeling nauseous or unwell and the kids seeing that. I do t know much about the treatment or anything. Or even if I'm likely to lose my hair or not! Not that I'm vain or anything! I keep threatening my husband that I'm going to shave my head because my hairs been pissing me off during lockdown! 

Ok one step at a time.  You have no diagnosis yet.  Your children will cope and there is no harming in seeing you poorly, if anything it can be positive for them to see you being treated and recovering!!  

Your son has had a lot to cope with having Diabetes but you've all dealt with it well by the sound of it.  You will still be able to be a mum if you are diagnosed and now your son is almost a teenager no doubt you' will see big changes in him over coming months.  Ask his diabetic nurse about him finding changing items painful.  I assume he has a pump and libra,  Does he have emla cream (anaesthetic cream) to put on site prior to insertion.  Maybe go on a diabetes forum to see if anyone has better suggestions.

My daughter was 19 and living in Uni so I didn't tell her until I had diagnosis - would have told her sooner if she'd been living at home.  My daughter has OCD which is a severe anxiety disorder but she coped fine.  A few tears at first but then she supported me by telling me to find out more about my diagnosis etc.  when I was at the bury my head in the sand stage with just bare information.  She was right knowing more gave me control and I felt better.  She was in the middle of a Neuroscience degree so had done study of cells, including cancer cells, so had understanding of condition, treatments etc.  Breat cancer is very treatable.