Feeling low

You’ve had a lot to cope with in a short space of time. I think we don’t process what has been happening whilst treatment is going on. I’m a year post surgery and completing treatment but still have wobble days ( sometimes big wobbles when I just want to hide in a corner and cry) . It does slowly get better. The Covid situation hasn’t helped as it’s difficult to access any help.

 Sending you a big virtual hug 

Hello, I have no words to say but just wanted to give you a huge hug. ((((((()))))))

Bless you xxx

Charlieandlola......hello,

I'm sorry you're having a bad time at the moment......but whatever your 'helpful' family are saying....your feelings are very common and dare I say...more normal than not. This is not an ingrowing toenail to be removed so you can walk again. Cancer and it's subsequent treatments interferes with our lives in so many ways.....from shock and numbness to fear and anxiety to physical sickness and fatigue. Many people never return to being the person they were before diagnosis. Some actually choose to change their lifestyle as a result of it whilst others mourn a life that they feel has gone.

And in addition, regardless of comments like ' excellent response' and ' it's over now'.....it is actually us who live the possibility of cancer returning. Sadly it can.....sometimes with devasting results and at others ...treatment has to begin again. Either way when we're told it's been removed, we live with that possibility.

So don't feel guilty if you aren't brimming with vitality today. Don't berate yourself if you feel frightened or tired. It will get easier but I don't  believe it ever goes away.

We do have to make decisions for our futures but you are still having treatment....good response doesn't mean it's all finished. I think you will continue to feel tired and sometimes depressed for some time to come. I suggest you ignore your family who have no concept of your actual situation and keep chatting here. 

I don't  believe you are alone today in your feelings and I'm sure you'll  soon be chatting to others at exactly your stage in this journey. 

I hope you feel better soon but if you don't...keep posting. We're here to listen.

Love Karen

Hello 

Thank you to the responses I have had. Yes,I feel like I have been trampled on by a herd of cattle at the moment and as you say,still undergoing treatment. It's my mental health I'm more concerned about. I think I need to take some time and try to process what's been happening. I hate cancer. We are all going thru the mill one way or another. Thanks again 

Julie x

I think you are right.....You need to take a step back and look at the situation you have found yourself in. To have to deal with both the cancer and your marriage break down at the same time would be very stressful for anyone. I don't know if your GP can arrange for you to chat to someone.I'm afraid I've lost touch with UK organisations who help when marriages break up but I think you need to talk to someone. You need practical advice too regarding money, house, belongings etc as well as talking through your disappointment and anger. I don't think just taking antidepressants...although they may help in the short term....will give you the long term answers.

I think you have seen though that getting over the cancer is not a quick fix for anyone. All the posts agree there are days which are mentally hard. You are not alone with that. I'm pleased you will be able to take part in some after classes albeit online. I'm sure there will be some helpful ideas. 

However, I am going to stress again.....you are not responsible for how you are feeling. None of this is your fault. Don't feel guilty....

Unfortunately the after effects of cancer can last a long time. Not everyone we associate with understands this. But don't  despair either. There will be help for your situations and you will have better days.

Take care. Stay covid safe.

Love Karen

Hello Julie,

I hate cancer too. Some friends in a way belittle that idea. I think you have to go through it to appreciate the wide variety of emotions and feelings, and I mean go through it, not support someone who has it. Since my husband's stroke, his intolerance levels have dropped. He doesn't understand why I hate the injections. Why I have to really steel myself to put the needle in. He thinks I should just grin and bear the chemo. I know it is probably the stroke effects and I know he gets frustrated with himself and what he cannot do, but I find that all hard. I was so grateful to my new oncologist for dropping T by 20%. It has been a bit easier. Sorry!!!!

On a more positive note Ive descovered Extra Strong Mints help with the taste yuck in your mouth!!! Yeay!

Keep talking Julie. You have helped me so often

Alison x

Hello Alison 

Yes I've felt much more myself today and definitely will keep talking. I'm not going to let my idiot husband (soon to be x) get me down. Hes sat on his backside all day today. I went out into the countryside with a picnic and my dog, a picnic some magazines and all the necessary today. I stayed out most of the day. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Concentrated on  feeling that the cancer has gone. I need more preventative treatment but its nearly over and there is a life waiting.

Julie x