I am coming to the end of my treatment and I am feeling very anxious and low. After a year of treatment and a diary full of appointments I am afraid of being on my own with no safety net. Does anyone else feel the same way.
Hi Sheehan yes I feel exactly the same as you. I finished rads in april this year after 10 months of treatment, 2 x surgery and chemo. I feel really well now but fixate on every ache and pain. I hope this gets better over time. I feel I have lost trust in myself to monitor things.
Hi Pusheen, thank you for replying to my message, I’m glad you are feeling well. All through my cancer treatments I’ve been positive and strong now I feel emotionally weak. Like you I hope this will be get better with time. Once again many thanks.
I think it takes time to trust recovery. I am thankful I managed to get through treatment on schedule in current circumstances and feel for everyone who's treatment was delayed.
Somewhere on this chat website, I was saying exactly the same as you...just over one year ago! Felt I should be on cloud 9 with everything finished....but I didn’t I genuinely found it harder after treatment than sometimes going through it! Lost, a bit lonely, hugely anxious....didn’t really know who I was anymore. It takes time to recover, I learnt to not be too hard on myself, we have been through a traumatic experience and are scarred (literally). It does get better but it does take time. I’m coming up to my 2 year anniversary and am getting there...
Take care of yourself and, most of all, be kind to yourself.
I think it's completely normal. It has been a main focus of life for a long time. Even if we're not thinking about it, we're thinking about it!
I finished treatment last week, came home and had a cup of tea, then went grocery shopping and watched my son's basketball game after school! Now I'm confused as to what I should be doing. I feel fine, just need to heal physically.
I'm not going back to work until April so it's very weird just hanging out at home
I've felt the same. I think it was because of focusing on being positive whilst going through treatment and when it was finished the thoughts and emotions that were pushed down raised their head. Also, instead of feeling joy that it was over I felt a sense of loss which then lead to struggling with my feelings of self identity.
This is completely normal and it seems that most of us go through a low spell. I know I did a few months after my main treatment ended. I had been delighted to end treatment and see the back of hospitals, but then everything just caught up with me.
However, remember that you are still 'in the system'. I had a appointment with the pharmacist to check I was OK on my hormone treatment 6 months after I started that, I'm getting 6 monthly infusions of zoledronic acid so was back at the hospital for that, then I had my yearly mammogram.
It still feels like I am being well cared for.
I am a year on from surgery, 13 months on from chemo and 10 months on from radiotherapy - and I feel pretty good. My energy levels are still not what they were, but I have also gone into a medical menopause and I think the daily hormone pill makes everyone tired - especially as it affects sleep with night sweats and insomnia!
You will start to feel better, and you're not alone in feeling like this.
