Coping

Hi Lucy51,

that’s sadly far too common, bless you! Try to seek out Dr Peter Harvey’s paper on ‘when treatment finishes, what then’ as it really does illuminate why you’re feeling as you are! And it’s kind of comforting though might get you crying a bit more! You can find it on google (and it’s the only thing about bc that you SHOULD google!) 

I found it really hard to believe ‘it’ had properly gone for ages and kept finding lumps I was bothered about (both sides!) but I’m getting better now and I’m nearly two years in! My team have been amazing and have seen me each time I was really worried!

sending you a big hug xxx

Hi Lucy51

To save you from Dr Google I have the Peter Harvey read Moomy recommends.

Here ya' go https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cfs-file/__key/communityserver-discussions-components-files/38/6242.after-the-treatment-finishes_2D00_then-what.pdf

G n' J

Thank you Moomy & Dreamthief I appreciate your replies. 

I was given a copy of that piece at the moving forward course I did but it doesn’t say anything about how long it should take. I know everyone is different but as I’m 9 months on I should be better than I am. How I am feels a bit extreme for what I’ve been through but just don’t seem to be able to snap out of it. 

I hope you’re both doing well and thank you again xx 

Please don’t dismiss what you have been through , it is life changing and you are still grieving your old life, there is no correct time to recover , but please please tell your family how you feel .......I am sorry Peter Harvey didn’t help ....re read it ? Lots of people get comfort from it .......

other people will think it is in the past , but it will always be there for you ......it will get better ( honestly ) I hope you have good friends , they are sometimes better than family , who you don’t want to hurt . Have you told your GP ? Best wishes

the past is  history 

the future is a mystery

today is a  gift

that is why we call it “ the present”.        X

Oh Lucy I do so feel for you. I’m at the start of your journey and have ups and downs. You’ve gone through so much but so positive that you didn’t need chemo and rads. Maybe when your recon is complete you’ll find it easier to move forward. Are you able to speak to others in the same/similar situation? 
sending you a virtual hug (((0)))x

Hi puzzler, 

thank you for your reply. I have found Peter Harvey’s article a help but after 9 months I’ve wondered if it still applies to me rather than someone just finishing treatment. 

I have some great friends but like me just don’t understand how I can still be so upset. The one thing I get told all the time is to see the GP for antidepressants. I’m not against them but I’m already taking Letrozole, thyroxine and alendronic acid and don’t want to take anything else for now. 

Youre absolutely right about the grief, that’s exactly how I feel, that I’m consumed with grief and and still just understanding what’s happened to me. 

Thank you again for your reply, I hope you’re doing well xx 

Hi twills56, 

thank you for your reply and I’m sorry you’re just starting out on all this. I think the recon will help but have some big decisions to make. Unfortunately no I don’t know anyone in the same position as me. 

If I could pass something on to you, have you found a cancer centre near you? I’m near the Helen Rollason centre in Essex but there are Maggies and Haven centres which might be near you. They offer a lot of support as well as complimentary therapies and well worth finding one. 

I really hope everything goes well for you and send you a big hug xx 

Hi Lucy,

i am only 5 weeks post mastectomy so I’m still coming to terms with that but I have had a similar experience to you in the past. Four years ago I discovered I had a benign brain tumour after going to the docs with a migraine and ending up in A&E.  I now understand that the tumour was not even related to the migraine and is just “one of those things” It causes me no bother and is just checked every year and remains stable. Nothing to worry about said my consultant. However, shortly after it was discovered I developed crippling anxiety which didn’t go away. It overwhelmed me to the point where I was barely able to function. It sounds from your post that you are being incredibly hard on yourself in terms of how you think you should be coping. Having cancer and losing a breast is traumatic, especially if things didn’t go to plan. Could you be suffering from PTSD? It’s not only veterans that suffer, anybody who has been through a trauma can be left struggling to cope. In my case I decided that I would try the antidepressants because counselling, yoga, meditation and a healthy lifestyle helped a little but not enough. I’m not advocating ADs for you but rather that you might Reach out to your GP and ask for help. Please be kind to yourself and no more thinking about what you should/shouldn’t be doing. I really feel for you. X x x 

Hi Mariella, 

thank you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate that. I’m sorry you’ve just been through a mastectomy and hope that everything is healing well and you’re nearing the end of treatment. Gosh I can understand why you felt like you did, finding out about the brain tumour must’ve been a terrible shock. I’m glad it causes you no problems and long may that continue. 

Im feeling a bit better today, just sharing how your feeling can  really help. At times I find the whole thing so overwhelming and in the early months had very bad anxiety that effected me physically. I had palpitations, my skin felt like it was on fire and that I had something sitting on my chest. I have seen my GP over the months and she has been very supportive but I haven’t seen her for a little while. I realise what I’ve been through but I see others after much worse treatment, coping so much better in a short recovery time I feel bad that I’m not. I’ll go back to my gp and see where I can go from here. If I had a timescale I think I’d accept that it was still ok to feel like this for now. 

Thank you again and take care xx 

please don`t compare yourself to others ! you are coping as best you can , they are too …….please don`t beat yourself up , this is your diagnosis and how you feel is valid , you are NOT better or worse than anyone , you are you and deserve all the help and emoathy you can get …….keep going ….it will probably get better ….me   x